Sexuality is a very important aspect of most people’s lives. But while men are free to explore it, women have their sexuality repressed and reduced to an instrument for male pleasure. That’s why topics like female masturbation are still considered taboo.
We talked about this with psychologist Carmen Silvia Costa Elias Fernandes (CRP06/37259-8), Master in Psychology and Health and Supervisor of Improvement in Health Psychology. She helped us understand the issues surrounding women’s sexual self-knowledge and the benefits of female masturbation.
Why you must overcome the taboo and masturbate
Exploring your body is a practice that has numerous health benefits. However, whenever we mention female masturbation, we are greeted with annoyed looks. According to psychologist Carmen Fernandes, taboos are practices interpreted by society as dirty, wrong and bad. Therefore, when performed, they arouse a feeling of guilt in the individual.
Breaking the taboo around female masturbation is increasingly urgent, as it brings benefits not only for physical, but also mental and, of course, sexual health. Masturbation is an exercise in self-knowledge and should happen naturally, creating intimacy between the woman and her body and making her understand her limits and needs.
The Hysteria channel video talks about the socio-historical importance of female masturbation and the exploration of our own sexuality. Tantric therapist Carol Teixeira encourages women to try to overcome the self-imposed limits during this intimacy exercise.
In addition to strengthening the bond between a woman and her body, masturbation helps relieve stress: during orgasm, the brain releases hormones that promote a feeling of well-being. It can also be a great ally against insomnia and other problems arising from stress. And there’s more: the pelvic movements performed during masturbation help to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, contributing to the prevention of urinary incontinence and relieving menstrual cramps.
For Carmen Fernandes, female sexuality has been migrating from a logic of sin and repression to liberation and pleasure, providing them with greater sexual freedom. This makes sex life fuller and more pleasurable, because when a woman knows her erogenous zones and knows how to reach orgasm (or multiple orgasms), even sexual intercourse with another person becomes more satisfying.
Practical mine guide: step by step to get started
Pay close attention to your hand hygiene before touching yourself. Long nails can hurt the vaginal canal, which increases the chances of bacteria growing and an infection occurring. Sex toys must be sanitized after use and stored in an appropriate place, in addition, they must not be shared.
1. Free yourself!
The first step is to free yourself from the mentality that women should not touch each other. Take possession of her body and get rid of paradigms about how a woman can feel pleasure.
2. Know your body
Did you know that the clitoris has over eight thousand nerve endings? So it is! It’s hard not to feel pleasure when touching such a sensitive place. It sits under the skin, right on top of the labia minora and just above the urethra. In fact, only the apparent part of it is there, because the clitoris in its entirety is much larger. When we are aroused, blood flow to the region increases and it becomes more prominent.
3. Discover your erogenous zones
The stimulation of the clitoris is usually the most pleasurable for most women, but this is not the rule. So explore your body and discover your erogenous zones! Some tips on which ones can be: ears, breasts, inner thighs, the belly region below the belly button, neck, back of the neck, butt and your mind. If it is stimulated, we are already half way there.
4. Lubricate yourself
Lubrication is essential to facilitate contact with intimate regions. You can use an intimate lubricant, your own saliva, or, if you are already aroused, the natural lubricant produced by your body. If you’re not comfortable with direct contact, try touching yourself over your underwear.
5. Move
A good tip is to make circular movements on the clitoris, using mainly the middle and index fingers. Sensitivity may vary depending on the region, try to find where you like the most. Figure-eight and zig-zag movements are also often very pleasurable. Some women also like the feeling of light tapping.
Don’t ignore the labia minora and labia majora – and any other region of your body. If you want to try sex toys or introduce your fingers, you can do “in and out” movements and the movement in which we slightly bend the fingers inside the vaginal canal. They say that it stimulates the G-spot and, although there is some disagreement on the subject, it doesn’t hurt to try.
5 tips to feel (VERY) pleasure alone
Many women have difficulty reaching orgasm during intercourse. This happens due to the lack of knowledge that many have about their own pleasure and how they like to be touched. Women who masturbate have an easier time directing their partner in what they like – in addition to knowing how to reach orgasm on their own.
- Create the perfect environment: Find a private place where you know you won’t be interrupted. If you like it, look for a sensual playlist to get in the mood.
- Create your moment: now is not the time to think about anything but yourself, your body and your pleasure. You can put your cell phone on silent, okay?
- Seduce yourself: it may seem strange at first, but think that you are in the company of someone else and try to use the most diverse artifices to feel for yourself the same desire that you want others to feel for you.
- Get excited: if none of this works, you can look for erotic content to read, for example. Then, start touching various regions of your body, looking for what really excites you.
- No pressure: Masturbation is much more about the journey than it is about reaching an orgasm. Enjoy the moment, and if you don’t orgasm this time, that’s fine. But if it does, remember that you can have more than one!
The pleasure of an orgasm can be a very strong sensation. This ends up scaring some women, but know that it’s normal. When you feel you’re ready, seek out more information and spice up your relationship with your own body. You are absolutely capable of feeling pleasure alone!