How to get out of a relationship that is not working? While many people have certainly faced such a situation, it is certainly not an easy task.

Relationships are complicated in their own right and often put us in situations that require us to make decisions—sometimes very painful ones.

In this article, you will find 7 steps on how to get out of a relationship that isn’t working. This is certainly not a guide for all cases, but a little support to be followed in case you have to face this situation one day.

How to get out of a relationship that isn’t working out

1. Ask yourself what you really want

Before figuring out how to get out of a relationship that isn’t working, it’s best to be more certain about that decision. While it’s true that most of the time when we leave someone we’re not 100% sure, often what we do know is that we don’t want to go on like this. Therefore, Before deciding anything, think about what you want out of your life.

To do this, perform this little exercise: Visualize yourself in a few years… do you see yourself with this person? Is it really the future you want?

These questions do not have an easy answer, but we must try to think about what we want, without letting the fear of loneliness or dependence influence our decision.

2. Analyze your current situation

To know exactly what we want in our life (or something that comes close…), we must analyze our current situation, in this case, with our partner. Are we happy with him?

Or, on the contrary, do we always live waiting for something to change? It is normal to go through stages of doubt in any area of our lives, not just with our partner. However, it is not healthy when these doubts block us and linger over time.

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Reflects: there is something wrong if you think more about what you lack than what you have… does what you have really make you happy? You shouldn’t be afraid to face that feeling.

On the other hand, if after analyzing the current situation with your partner (how you feel with him, what you miss, if you are really happy, if you compensate for the relationship or if you suffer more than you feel happy, etc.), realize that something has failed for a long time (something you may have already tried to solve, without success), it’s time to act.

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3. Make a decision

If, after going through the previous step, you realize that the current situation with your partner is really not what you want, at this point you can go in two directions: stay in the relationship and fight to change things (most of the time it doesn’t work) or end the relationship.

The second option is certainly the hardest to take, but also the most liberating if you find yourself in a relationship that isn’t really making you happy.

4. Be firm with your decision

Well, you’ve made the decision to end the relationship, but now is the hardest part… to keep it that way.

At this stage, we propose that you be firm in your decision, especially in the first moments, when everything is more recent and you are certainly more emotionally vulnerable.

“What if I’m wrong?”

If after the first few days (or weeks, it all depends on the person…) you are not sure you have chosen the right path, reconsider and reflect on your decision.

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Don’t blame yourself for that… as imperfect beings that we are (thank God!), we often make mistakes in our decisions but it’s never too late to correct. Change direction if you feel it’s worth it.

5. Take back your life

And now, what to do? Start taking back your life. You made the decision to end the relationship and you stuck with your decision, now it’s time to take back the reins of your life.

Breakups are usually painful. So first you will have to assume that the pain will be there (at least in the beginning) and that you will have to face it.

We don’t need to hide or repress ourselves… we are hurt, but we have to keep going. So try to get back to your routine and your life, focus on it, but also look for activities that motivate you and “take you away” a little bit from everyday life — go out with friends, take a trip, play some sport, invest in a language course!

The goal is not to avoid pain, or not face it, but to stay active, to gradually regain a sense of calm and normalcy.

6. Be flexible with yourself

The sixth step on how to get out of a relationship that isn’t working is this: be flexible with yourself. This means that you shouldn’t blame yourself for what happened.

Being flexible also means giving yourself moments to release that sadness, those nerves or that anxiety… That is, giving yourself “permission” to be sad, to have moments of weakness… “Did I really make the right decision?”

It is normal for these feelings to appear from time to time, but think that what you decided for some reason, that there is, and that there are no right or wrong decisions, only people who, trying to be happy, do everything to work out.

7. Take care and read this step carefully!

After following all the previous steps, if you find yourself at this point, a very important tip is take care of yourself and pamper yourself, in addition to giving you spaces and moments to strengthen yourself.

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Many people go through a breakup and, although this can be a very difficult and complicated time, the road becomes more pleasant if we take care of ourselves, doing things we enjoy, eating and sleeping well, playing some sport, investing in time quality with family and friends.

In addition, taking care of yourself also means listening to yourself. Listen to your body and your mood: what do you really want? Are you getting enough rest? Are you loving yourself the way you deserve?

Everything that is committed to our well-being, physical and mental, will involve small steps towards our recovery and healing.

Don’t forget that everything has a beginning, middle and end and that’s why it’s important to enjoy the present without wishing for the past or planning too much for the future, because the only thing that exists is TODAY.