How to feel more capable: personal power

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When personal power is present, self-efficacy or locus of control is also present. Why don’t some people have that feeling? How to build it?

When talking about personal power, it seems that we are referring to the ability to influence others or have a great impact on the world. This is not accurate. The concept refers rather to the sensation capacity or competence that each one has and it is more related to oneself than to others.

Personal power is not in imposing oneself over others, but in the connection that each person has with themselves. If it is deep and healthy, it translates into feeling of confidence to make decisions favorable to oneself and take responsibility for them.

When we enjoy personal power, we feel that we have control over what romantics call destination. We know our limits, but also strategies so that these are not an insurmountable obstacle when it comes to, for example, maintaining our emotional balance.

“Identify your problems, but give your power and energy to the solutions”.

-Tonny Robbins-

Why is personal power lost or not consolidated?

What is healthy is for people to have a deep-rooted and solid feeling of competence. Unfortunately, this does not always happen and there are several reasons. There are situations that undermine or deteriorate personal power. The factors that usually produce it are the following:

childhood experiences. If you developed in a framework in which no one recognized or taught you to recognize your value, your ability to influence the responses of the environment, it is difficult for you to develop a sense of self-efficacy. Overprotection, abuse or abandonment are circumstances that increase the risk.Traumatic events unprocessed. Difficult and surprising situations that are not adequately prepared could make a person feel trapped in fear, a feeling of helplessness or a very strong insecurity.Self-conditioning. The two previous factors largely define things, but this is usually reinforced through beliefs and ideas that the person continually reinforces: “I can’t”, “I won’t be able to”, “I need help”, etc.

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How to regain personal power?

When personal power is lost or not developed, what prevails is insecurity, negativity and victimhood.. The most common thing is that in these conditions a person ends up taking refuge in rigid routines, in which there is no room for initiative and they only seek to go unnoticed. There is also no strength to defend one’s place in the world and/or rights.

How to get out of this situation? There are some ways that can contribute to this, such as the following.

Identify recurring problems

When someone is disconnected from themselves and their personal power, The usual thing is that you tend to face the same problems over and over again. For example, you want to do something and start trying, but soon give up if any difficulty arises. Or she feels that her feelings are ignored by others, or it seems that she is exploited by others, etc.

To regain personal power You can start by identifying those recurring problems, associated with the feeling of inability or incompetence.. It is also worth trying to specify which criticisms you make most frequently, as well as the negative opinions you have about yourself.

Identify failed solutions

What follows is that Identify how you overcome, overcome or “solve” those problems that you have identified.. It is possible that, for example, if your problem is that you do not finish what you start, you have chosen as a solution to justify your decision to abandon it, emphasizing all the negative aspects that it had.

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It is also possible that you have decided to solve your insecurity by trying to impose your own opinions on others. Or facing criticism with victimhood, etc. In all these cases what you have to think about is Where do these “solutions” take you? What do you gain from them?. Most likely, you will find that you only make the problem recurring.

Therefore, the objective is for you to become aware of those “solutions” that in reality only serve to continue avoiding the problem, but not to solve it. What could you do in each case? What would be a real solution?

Invest in your development

Investing in yourself is a great idea. We are talking about investing money, but also about time and dedication.. You can, for example, start by learning something that you consider valuable to you. Choose an activity that you like and that does not demand too much at first. Learning something new will make you feel more capable.

If your emotions are very confusing or you cannot give them direction, invest in a professional consultation. It is one of the great gifts you can give yourself and it may help you take a definitive step. Invest time in yourself, in your self-care, in your diet, in the quality of life. This is how the path of personal power is forged.