To be happy you must believe that you deserve it

Happiness is as accessible to you as pain is. , simply by being alive and being aware that you are. Being happy is accessible to everyone. That is the first premise we have to think about when we are drowning in those catastrophic thoughts, because the only catastrophe without a solution is not being alive.

If things continue to go wrong for you, it’s because you don’t do things to make the opposite happen. You have given yourself over to discomfort because you believe it is what you deserve.

Starting from this reality, you can ask yourself: What have I done so badly that I can’t even hope to feel better? When you respond, you will realize that you do not deserve so much self-inflicted suffering.

That is why we want to reflect on what happiness is and what are the reasons why many people deny themselves the possibility of being happy. It is important to know what mechanisms are involved in this emotional masochism to detect them and get away from them. Remember that to be happy you must believe that you deserve it.

What is happiness

Happiness depends on three fundamental factors: how you feel, what you encounter, and how you process that encounter. between you and the world. Happiness, after all, is an attitude

Happiness is a state of mind open to experience. However, the mind and what we think about ourselves almost always conquer that space destined for the simplicity of enjoyment, limiting us.

It may be that due to your personal experiences or the education you received, you have integrated the premise that you cannot be happy because you do not deserve it. But you are wrong. There is nothing in the world that denies a person the ability to feel happiness.

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Besides, If you find yourself going through a difficult situation, remember that other people have already come out of the same or similar circumstances. What about you, the difference?: They believe that all their past suffering validates the desire to feel good again, to have hope, to believe in people and to see the positive side of our gigantic world.

What mechanisms do we use to deny happiness?

It is important to analyze the so-called “death drive” that Freud explained to us, the phenomenon of learned helplessness proven by Martin Seligman, or the consequence of enduring very high anxiety for a long time, which results in conditions such as derealization and depersonalization. Next, let’s reflect on why people deny themselves happiness:

Learned helplessness: some people have adopted a passive role, in which they consider pain as something they have to endure and they cannot do anything to avoid it. Learned helplessness happens when the person gives up on everything and feels like they can’t do anything to improve. There is no longer a fight to save oneself. Derealization: The mechanism of derealization is when a psychological distance appears with respect to the reality that surrounds the person. That is, it is as if your environment and context were strange to you. Depersonalization: the mechanism of personalization refers to a distance and psychological strangeness with respect to the self. The person does not strive to get out of that state or to seek happiness because they do not know what is appropriate for their situation. He is lost, broken, disconnected. Death drive: it is very difficult to understand some behaviors like those of anorexics, as if their power lay in that strict and dangerous behavior. Beyond the physical danger that their eating habits imply, they feel that they must control themselves very tightly or continue hurting themselves because it is the only way to find pleasure: It is what Jacques Lacan called “joy” and Sigmund Freud called “death drive.”

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What do these three phenomena tell us? Well then When someone hits rock bottom, they feel guilty and are not able to overcome their past, enters a state of life in which one does not live, one is only present, without further ado; and he doesn’t feel worthy of being happy.

When a person believes that they do not deserve happiness, they isolate themselves and adopt self-punishment behaviors to heal their mistakes.. He does nothing because he believes he is worthless and stops considering himself a person.

If you believe you deserve to be happy, act accordingly.

How many things have you given up or are you giving up because of fear, lack of self-esteem or because you feel like you no longer find your place in the world? There are thousands of psychology theories and techniques that can help you with your social skills, with your negative schemas, and with programming concrete actions. There is also medication, although they have not yet patented any for soul pain.

The best thing for the soul is that you reconnect with it to feel that it is wounded, but not dead. Your spirit loves to renew itself, you know what some people say. renew or die and it seems that many are not doing badly at all.

So take out the strength that you don’t even think you have and fill your life with experiences again. When you die, may your life be full of experiences, not dreams. If you don’t believe you deserve it, then think about what your life and the lives of those who love you will be like if you still don’t believe you deserve it.

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And don’t forget, that If you are not the one who gives you the opportunity to start building your happiness, no one else will be able to grant it to you. Only you know what you need and how to be happy, and the first option is to accept and believe your worth…