How to deal with emotional suffering?

Emotional suffering is a very painful and uncomfortable experience that makes us feel sad, desperate, distressed or anxious. Its causes are multiple. In this sense, it is important that we understand that emotional suffering Many times it is born as a result of resisting the natural pain of a loss. (or other circumstance).

Pain cannot be avoided (sometimes it arises as a natural consequence of an experience), although it can be softened. On the other hand, suffering can be stopped, especially when we become aware of our pain and the task we have pending: facing it to begin to heal. In relation to pain, we leave you with a curious fact: neuroimaging research, such as that of Jaffe (2013), suggests that Emotional pain “hurts” just like physical pain.

Other research suggests that both types of pain, when experienced, activate the same brain areas. Having made the distinction between pain and suffering, We will try to shed some light on the question of how to deal with emotional sufferingthrough some key ideas to start working on our well-being.

How to deal with emotional suffering?

Is it possible to face emotional suffering and soften it? How? We leave you some key ideas to start working on it.

The importance of recognizing and accepting what we feel

When facing emotional suffering, it is important, first of all, to identify and recognize that suffering. How am I feeling? What manifests in my body? And in my thoughts? There is no point in denying or resisting what one feels, because sooner or later this will arise again. That is to say, we cannot escape from it, no matter how much we try to do a thousand things “to not think”, evade ourselves, etc.

We have a pending task that will “claim” us sooner or later. That is why from here we tell you: welcome your suffering, your pain, give it the space it needs to express itself, to develop. And once you have identified it, name it, face it.

Differentiate between pain and suffering

It is important here, as we have already indicated, to differentiate between pain and suffering. Pain is an often natural (and adaptive) process., the result of some situation experienced (such as a loss, a grief); On the other hand, suffering often involves wallowing in that pain, or even not wanting to face it. Thus, resisting pain is an attitude that often gives rise to suffering.

Understand what causes this suffering

The next step when facing a situation that causes us suffering is, precisely, understanding what is causing us said suffering. Maybe something very specific has happened to us that we can identify, and what is causing us this suffering. For example: a loss, a great disappointment…

Maybe we have had a really bad time, bad experiences have accumulated, we have not faced what we had to face, we have silenced emotions, etc. Whatever the case, slowing down and reserving time for analysis will allow you to be more accurate when identifying the origin of these emotions.

Start a psychotherapeutic process

The goal of beginning the psychotherapeutic process may be surrounded by obstacles. Because? Because it is a brave decision in which we face our fears, defenses and resistances. However, many times, when emotional suffering is unbearable, it is the best option to begin to address what is happening to us.

However, It is not necessary to feel that “we are in the hole” to ask for help.That is, it is not necessary to reach very high levels of suffering to go to therapy.

On the other hand, once you start therapy, you will probably realize the following: there were many things in your life (or yourself) that were hurting you, and you could sense it, but not manage it clearly. ; Therapy serves to shed a little light on these things, give them their meaning, understand them and begin to build with them a path of self-discovery and inner peace.

Why do people suffer?

We have tried to collect some useful ideas to begin to face a time of emotional suffering. When we face this type of suffering in a healthy way, a curious thing happens, and that is that the suffering disappears but, in its place, we find something else: pain. The good news? Pain also passes and, unlike suffering, it does have meaning and usefulness..

Let us not forget that uncomfortable or unpleasant emotions, such as those that arise from pain, are adaptive, and allow us to manage and regulate everything that happens to us inside. That is, they are telling us something, they have meaning.

On the other hand, there are sufferings that arise not from resisting pain or loss, but from maladaptive and irrational thought patterns (related, above all, to anxiety), behaviors that harm us, mental rigidity, etc. . In these cases, it will also be convenient to know why all this arises, what relationship it has with suffering and how we can work on this entire process to feel better.

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