Psychological consequences of having an alcoholic parent

Alcoholism is a serious social problem that, worldwide, affects millions of people. It is a disease that it wreaks havoc both on the health of the sufferer and on the lives of the people around them.

Even today, very little attention is paid to this very serious problem that causes, directly or indirectly, thousands of deaths a year. In many sectors of society, excessive alcohol consumption continues to be normalized and a blind eye is turned when the problem is inside the house.

As often happens, Children are the ones who suffer the most from having alcoholic fathers or mothers. and, unless there is a situation of extreme abuse, they are usually not given attention or offered help. However, daily living with a person who usually comes home drunk, It leaves deep scars on the personality of the little ones.

A very common fact. What we psychologists collect in the first interviews with adults who attend therapy is the consumption of alcohol by one of the parents. Despite the time elapsed (sometimes decades), the memories and effects of this problem are still very present in their lives.

As a particular statistic, I can mention that 50% of the people who are currently working with me, They have suffered alcoholism from one of their parents.

How does having alcoholic parents affect mental health?

In this article I want to review some of the consequences that parental alcoholism leaves on their children. This is not a specific case, but a generalities that I have been compiling after working, in therapy, with hundreds of adults affected by this problem.

constant state of alert

children of alcoholics they always remain alert. They spend their childhood attentive to whether their father or mother arrives well or badly. They are also unable to let their guard down because, when the parent arrives drunk, they must activate all the alarms to avoid being mistreated.

Most of these children they live a childhood full of scenes of verbal or physical violence. In their houses, arguments and fights between their parents are frequent.

In extreme cases, they witness attacks and beatings on their mother, their siblings, or suffer them themselves. In all these situations, children are terrified with a real and constant fear that his father will attack him or, worse still, that he might kill his mother.

It is usual for these children internalize a pattern of do not disturb so as not to anger and provoke the wrath of his father. They know that the best way to proceed, when their father or mother arrives drunk, is to keep silence and not do anything that might bother him.

Related to the previous point, also They learn to avoid getting into arguments. The best way not to provoke your mother or father is not protesting and letting the problems go. This will also be what they learn as children and what they apply in their adult life.

premature responsibility

All these mentioned circumstances cause these little ones to mature before their time. From a very young age, these people have to leave their games and adapt to survive In a world with adult problems.

What can be achieved with therapy

Working, in therapy, can you release the weight of these terrible childhoods marked by alcoholism. In summary, these are the goals we set for ourselves:

Recover the joy of living

No matter how difficult the circumstances, you can always recover the illusion for living and for enjoying all the good things. If worked on, this traumatic past can stop determining the present and the future.

Stop perceiving the world as something dangerous

Of course, there are problems and difficult situations in life, but you have to know how to recognize them and deal with them in the right measure. Problems cannot dominate all thoughts and prevent enjoying everything good and positive.

After years of living so aware of others in order to survive, the person works to recover himself and become the center of your life.