How to deal with an unwanted pregnancy?

When talking about unwanted pregnancy, it is not uncommon for the stereotype to bring to mind an image: a teenage pregnancy or one that is the consequence of rape. However, it’s not always like that. There are also unwanted pregnancies between couples who have been married for several years, or between a man and a woman who love each other and want to have a stable relationship. An unwanted pregnancy can appear at any age and in any type of relationship.

The truth is that when it occurs, the woman and her partner face strong dilemmas.. Currently it is possible, and in most cases also legal, to terminate pregnancy. But from an emotional or moral point of view, this is not always an option.

In these cases the question central is: continue with the pregnancy or terminate it? The experience is very personal: there is no valid answer for everyone in these situations, in fact there is no valid answer for the same person if we talk about this having to be given for different moments in their life.

On the other hand, men and women feel part of the answer to this question differently. The implications of being a father or mother are very different. However, despite all these particularities, there are some actions that can be applied to most cases. They are the following.

Identify the feelings associated with unwanted pregnancy

There is a difference between unwanted pregnancy and unplanned pregnancy. In the first case, it is a direct rejection of the possibility of having a child. In the second case, the idea of ​​having a child is not rejected, but the new life appears at a time that is not very propitious, or not very relevant. Therefore, what is unwanted is given by the circumstances, but not by the attitude towards fatherhood or motherhood.

Hence it is important to try to specify all the feelings and emotions associated with the situation. It is worth asking yourself questions like: Do I feel anger or anger because of the pregnancy? I am scared? Do I feel guilt? Is my rejection total or partial? How much does my partner’s attitude influence how I feel about pregnancy? What are the reasons for not wanting this pregnancy?

Those questions are valid. for both men and women. The idea is to determine the real attitude towards unwanted pregnancy, taking into account the most important variables. Sometimes it is not as clear as it seems. Ideally, any decision made should lead to a conscious act.

Identify the pressures and try to remove them from the decision

The issue of unwanted pregnancies is one of the most controversial. The answers to what should be done in these cases are many, just as there are many voices that usually feel authorized to give their opinion. There is a position on religion, another on family, another on a couple, another on friends, another on culture, etc. These positions tend to be contradictory to each other or at least differ in important nuances.

Each of these positions could become a form of significant pressure that can lead us to make the wrong decision, a decision that we regret later.. That is why it is best to understand that the answer to what to do in the event of an unwanted pregnancy can only come from the people directly involved. It is the mother and father who must take control of the situation and try to evaluate all the factors independently of other people’s opinions: they are the ones who will then have to live with what they decide.

It is advisable that if there is disorientation or confusion, seek help from a professional.. It is not recommended that you try to find the answers from your best friend or on the Internet. This will only give you a biased assessment and many times, even if they don’t want it, they will become unnecessary pressure for you to make a decision in one direction or another. Even friends could feel bad if we don’t listen to them. We have all heard the typical phrase: “I don’t know why you want my opinion if you end up doing the opposite.”

Get informed and prepare for the next step

When faced with an unwanted pregnancy, it is important that you inform yourself very well about what comes next, and that you do so through reliable sources.. If you choose to terminate the pregnancy, ask specialists what methods are available and what the legislation says about it. You should also know where you can safely perform an abortion and what the possible psychological effects of it are.

If you decide to go ahead with the pregnancy, research the care that pregnancy requires to make it safe. Many mothers and fathers, those who decide to go ahead and deep down want the option of aborting, sabotage the pregnancy by not applying the necessary care. The consequences of opting for this alternative, under these conditions, can be disastrous. In addition, also try to find out about the physical and psychological changes that motherhood or fatherhood brings with it and about the development of the baby during the first stage of its life.

In both cases it is good that you have professional support. An unwanted pregnancy is a complex situation that will demand a lot from you.. Any decision you make is going to involve big changes in your life. Don’t rush, take your time and accept the support that an expert can give you.

Considerations to keep in mind if I decide to move forward

Our life will change. Having a child implies a lifelong responsibility, so we have to be clear about what having children entails. We must give it the necessary attention as well as all the resources it needs. Dr. Francesco Branca, Director of the WHO Department of Nutrition for Health and Development, points out that: “Counseling on healthy eating habits, optimal nutrition, and what vitamins or minerals women should take during pregnancy can go a long way toward helping women and their developing children stay healthy throughout and after pregnancy.“.

As indicated by Dr. Francesco Branca, responsibility begins from the moment we know that we are expecting a child, and this responsibility begins by maintaining healthy habits during pregnancy. Are we willing to change our habits if necessary? It is important to analyze everything that pregnancy entails and know if we are really going to be able to move forward.

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