How to accept that my ex is with someone else – 8 steps

After a breakup, it’s natural for you to feel a lot of feelings plaguing your head. You go from one emotional state to another very easily and, even if you want to hide it, there are still things that hurt, even if you were the one who ended your relationship. The first tip is normalize feelings.

We have all been through a breakup and it is logical that you are not 100% at all times. Don’t try to act strong or pretend that you don’t care, because it will hurt even more. Get it into your head that you are no longer together and that you both have the right to rebuild your life, although that does not mean that your feelings do not know what place to occupy in you.

Are you aware that the guy who was your guy is no longer your guy, but do you still feel like he’s yours? In psychology there is a word to define the recurring memory, the thoughts that bounce around in the head without stopping with insistence, that are impossible to get out of the mind, that appear in any conversation because they are still present daily… All of this is called calls obsession.

If thinking about him causes you anxiety, frustration or other mixed feelings, if you recreate the image of your ex with another person several times every day or if you cannot replace negative thoughts with more positive ones, you are undoubtedly going through this phase. So, the time has come assume that your ex-partner is in a new relationship. You can’t continue avoiding the situation, or complaining all the time. You must face it and discover that there is a lot of world beyond. Take note.

Be aware that pain is annoying but bearable. Do not approach the situation in a dramatic way because if you keep telling yourself that the situation is unbearable, it will end up overwhelming you and it will be much more difficult to accept. So we advise you to avoid the drama and catastrophic words.

Obviously you may feel bad, which is not blameworthy, and it is normal that it affects you and you should accept it. Accept that it bothers you but do not say that it is unbearable, since little by little, and as you move forward with your life, the pain will decrease. Almost without realizing it, you will feel better and much more if you try to see the situation as something normal, real and with optimism. Remember: pain is temporary.

Where do you direct your attention? It is very important that you make it easy for yourself. If you try to avoid reality, you will only hurt yourself more when you pay attention to it, although it is paradoxical, it happens frequently to us. The three keys to take care of yourself are:

Don’t talk to your ex daily or weekly. Even if you say it’s just because you’re good friends, it won’t do you any good. You know perfectly well that you will do it looking for signs and that you can lose control at the first opportunity.Don’t interfere in their social networks Don’t even waste time looking at their photos. Seeing him over and over again with her will not let you move forward. Get out of the loop and stop thinking about what you experienced together, because – although it may sound harsh – he is now with her. It’s better do not ask. Don’t act like you’re a professional investigator trying to find out more about their current history from their friends or family. You will only be provoking and recreating the pain yourself.

If you don’t want to feel like you’re banging your head against the wall, it’s best to put aside your previous attitudes. Seeks new focuses of attentioninteract with friends, look for other social activities, focus on other topics that interest you… Stop being monothematic when you are deep in a conversation and allow your mind to divert its attention to new horizons.

The important thing is to carry out a Priority list thinking about what really makes you happy. Assume that he has already rebuilt his life and… Don’t you have the right? Go for it!

That your ex is with another It is one more consequence of your breakup. You should not feel angry because he has rebuilt his life with another person, it is a natural circumstance, and even if you do not feel ready, you will also achieve it. To assume that he has a new partner you must start with accept that you are not togetherthat he no longer wants to be with you, that it doesn’t work together, that it’s better this way…

The longer it takes to try to find the reason for the breakup, the more time you invest in directing your thoughts and emotions towards him and his environment, the longer it will take you to accept the most important thing to overcome it: your relationship has ended.

The narcissistic wound must be closed. Many times we insist on thinking that we still mean something, that he still loves us, that it is temporary… Put your feet back on the ground and don’t try to cover your pain with an authentic Hollywood script. You shouldn’t compare yourself with your ex’s current partner since they are probably two completely different relationships. Not better, not worse, just different.

You both had your moment and you lived it and enjoyed it as you wanted and the fact that you now have a new person by your side does not under any circumstances cancel your love story. It has simply arrived the moment to turn the page and leave the book blank for future relationships.

Seeks support among your friends and family, propose new challenges, enjoy what you have, live in freedom, regain confidence in yourself, do not judge yourself, accept yourself with your virtues and your defects, love yourself and show the world everything you are worth. There are multiple possibilities that are waiting for you. What are you waiting for to grab them?

In this OneHowTo article we give you some advice on how to love yourself because think that if you don’t do it, no one will. So you start by cultivating your love and the rest will come.

If you want to read more articles similar to How to accept that my ex is with anotherwe recommend that you enter our Sentimental Relationships category.