How do you recognize true love?

Does true love exist? If we had to define it, we would say that it is more than just a feeling. It is a subtle combination in which causality is allied with connection and shines with complicity. At the same time, powerful elements emerge such as reciprocity, care, attention and that firm commitment to undertake a common project, but at the same time respecting individual growth.

Don Francisco de Quevedo said that those from the heart love each other, with the heart they speak to each other. However, as we well know, even if our affections are sincere, we often do not know how to talk to each other (communicate) in the most effective way. The passion can be immense, but Sometimes a whole series of elements fail where love, far from being lasting, remains little more than an ephemeral adventure.

What is the secret then? In reality, when it comes to emotional matters, success does not lie in “loving yourself a lot.” Even less in carrying out all possible sacrifices for the loved one.

The formula is not to love a lot, but to love yourself well; As Erich Fromm said, making love an art where understanding that loving someone is not a passive act, but a constant dedication and daily work.

Likewise, there is something that most of us must admit. Every time our destiny has crossed paths with that of a special, singular and almost magical person before our eyes, we have asked ourselves: Will this he/she be the definitive one? Have I finally found my true love? Experts on the subject like Helen Fisher give us the answers to understand if we are on the right track. Let’s see it below.

Components of true love

Nothing is true until we ourselves give it authenticity. In the field of love, this translates into something very simple: fighting for what is truly worth it, giving value to what sets our heart on fire. Experts on the subject, such as Richard Schwartz, professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, tell us first of all that it is a matter of knowing how to address the challenges that appear at all times during a relationship.

Love, like the Moon, has its phases. Committing ourselves in each of these stages will make that bond more authentic every day. Because somehow, by seeing how we both combine efforts, attention and commitment equally, the union becomes stronger and everything seems more meaningful every day. It is therefore this daily effort that makes our relational fabric increasingly real, brilliant and resistant.

On the other hand, and to better understand what usually characterizes this type of emotional ties, it never hurts to know its components.

It’s more than just passion

True love is more than a feeling and passion orchestrated by a series of neurotransmitters. At the beginning it has some particular elements:

The surprise, the intrigue, the bewilderment… Suddenly we find someone who attracts us for many more aspects than mere appearance. There is an early connection that breaks all the patterns that we had lived until now.. This almost immediate complicity attracts us and worries us. Studies, such as those carried out by anthropologist Helen Fisher, show us something interesting. Couples in stable relationships don’t just experience sexual attraction. In your brain, the areas of empathy, care and motivation light up..

It is an enduring state of mind

True love is also a mental and emotional state capable of lasting over time.. This means, for example, that concern for the other is always present. Also the need to promote their well-being, to alleviate their suffering, to be interested in their concerns, to be accomplices (and not controllers) of that day-to-day life where we are present in the small and big things.

The idea of ​​timelessness

Timelessness means that in a stable and happy relationship, the past does not matter nor does the future worry.. People capable of building true love do not feel captive to their past mistakes, much less to their relationships of yesterday. They limit themselves to appreciating the present with intensity, wisdom and courage.

They see their present partner as that cardinal point where they can focus every hope, every effort, commitment and hope. Whatever happened yesterday does not exist. Fears about the future and what may happen to that present relationship don’t matter either. Because There are no fears, just the conviction that what you love, you take care of and enjoy here and now.

The synergy

Synergy is coming together in the same ideal and project. It is investing hopes, commitments and wills not only in the same direction, but in multiple directions at the same time. It is being a dance couple that slides with rhythm and harmony, creating new movements to overcome a thousand and one difficulties together.

Couples who are synergistic grow in all areas of life. Because j They are more than the sum of their individual parts, together they create a solvent and effective presence to lean on.where you can never let yourself fall and move forward wherever you want, always feeling safe, always loved.

To conclude, true love exists, there is no doubt. Sometimes, even knowing that it is, it gets out of hand for very different reasons. Be that as it may, the most important thing is to allow ourselves to experience that sensation as many times as necessary. When this happens, we should not hesitate: we must do everything possible to make it last, so that it does not escape and thus be eternal dancers on the track of happy relationships.

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