Friendship, the family that one chooses

They say that friends are the family that one chooses. And I do not intend to talk about any friendship, but about Friendship. With capital letters. That bond as strong as few others, the result of the chance of meeting in life.. That love that doesn’t hurt, doesn’t squeeze and knows how to be close miles away.

The DRAE defines friendship as “Personal affection, pure and selfless, shared with another person, which is born and strengthened by treatment.” And I admit that this definition surprises and fascinates me in equal parts. Centuries of history have placed consanguinity relationships as the most stable, unconditional and affectionate… partly neglecting the global importance of friendship.

The importance of friendship

Friends have been a point of support since childhood. They allow us to learn values, experience different roles and discover who we want to be. They help us build our identity, develop empathy and feel part of a group..

The concept of friendship is personal and, therefore, partially subjective. What we expect from this bond changes with time, experience, and circumstances. As we mature, we become more selective, we look for quality more than quantity and we are clearer about the traits that define a true friendship (or at least the one we want to surround ourselves with).

Furthermore, friends allow us to discover and develop different facets of ourselves. They help us have a healthy self-esteem and provoke positive emotions that allow greater psychological stability. We could say, therefore, that in some way Friendship protects, cares for and strengthens us.

“A brother may not be a friend, but a friend will always be a brother.”

-Demetrius of Falero-

Characteristics of true friendship

Whether because we have not had the opportunity to enjoy a true friendship or because we find ourselves in a moment of vital confusion, sometimes it is difficult for us to distinguish between acquaintances, companions, colleagues and friends. These are some traits that define a true friendship.

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Trust and unconditionality: is that person you can trust. With which you can be you without filters, in a sincere and transparent way. It is a relationship based on the certainty of being able to trust the other person absolutely. Whether things are going well for us or when things are going badly for us, friends accompany us and convey their support. You know they’re going to tell you the truth, even if it’s not what you want to hear.Reciprocity: Friendship is a shared bond in which there is bidirectionality in terms of communication, actions, feelings and interest. It is normal that there are stages in which, for some reason, we neglect this bidirectionality. When this happens it is important to empathize, learn and rectify. We can all make mistakes. Real friends forgive and also teach us to be better friends.good wishes: A friend is happy when things go well for you, celebrates your successes and is happy for your happiness. There is no room for envy or selfishness: a good friend is by your side in a selfless way.Motivation to share time and experiences: you want to share time, live new experiences and generate new anecdotes that strengthen the bond. Furthermore, no matter how much time passes and how many kilometers there are in between: when a friendship is true, complicity remains intact.Freedom: Friendship does not generate feelings of oppression. It allows you to be yourself and is based on respect. It makes you feel freer and a better person. He doesn’t make you feel used or try to manipulate you. It does not demand time from you nor does it seek to make you someone you are not. Real friends invite you to think, offer you a space free of judgment and let you breathe.

“Who have a friend, have a treasure”

Friendship is not found in just anyone. There are many people who come and go. But Sometimes, at the least expected moment, a spark jumps and that connection is created: something special, important and lasting.. This doesn’t happen many times in life. Therefore, if you have one of these Friendships (with a capital letter), take care of it. Don’t take it for granted. She waters it with patience, sincerity, affection and attention.

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Important people mark our lives. So If you are lucky enough to enjoy a friendship like this, you are an infinitely lucky person. You have a magical bond between your hands, something authentic and unconditional. You have a sister, an uncle for your son, or a forever companion. And, if you have a true friendship, in addition to a precious asset, you have another reason to shine.