For love we stay, for love we go

For love, we stay when the hug welcomes us, when the other cares about our presence and makes a point of always wanting to be around. For love, we stay when, even with so many falls, even with so many mistakes, the other doesn’t want to leave.

For love, we stay when the phone rings just to know if you’re okay. When you open your book and there is a note with few words wishing you a good week.

For love, we stay when the storm comes and the other wants to take shelter in us, when the wind passes and the feeling remains strong. We stay when things don’t go well and the other cares about it, tells a dull joke like someone who wants to make you laugh. We stay when we feel true, when we feel peace. When you know that the other is willing to be an address and make an address in us. No excuses, no lies.

But out of love we go too, out of self-love we also decided to leave. For love we stop insisting on what insists on not being, on those who don’t want to stay. For love, we leave after crying, after the words that hurt and the excuses that tired us.

We go when the other doesn’t see our beautiful soul, when they persist in noticing frivolous things and criticizing for any reason. When the other wants a fleeting love, while you want from January to January. For love, we go when the other wants to play games while you already know what you want. When the other likes laps and you just want to look forward. When the other wants pauses and setbacks and you want progress.

For love, we leave when the other doesn’t add anything to our lives, on the contrary, he diminishes us with his persistent indifference. When he doesn’t look at us, he doesn’t notice, he doesn’t care. When we are an option and not a priority. When the excuse of time, fatigue, countless commitments become daily. When you don’t have space in the other’s life. And so, out of love for us, we decided to leave, not as one who gives up on love, but as one who knows that this is not love.

And then, precisely out of love for ourselves, we decided to leave after insisting so much, after wanting so much to make it work. Even after the rare good times and the hopes that sprang from our hearts. We decided to go like someone who doesn’t want to go back, but at the same time the terrible fear of looking back arises. Deep down, we know that it’s not worth staying, that the other is not an address. Deep down, we know that attachment is not love and that insisting on what hurts us is a lack of self-love. So, out of love we decided to leave, because we miss our sincere laughter, because we miss smiling with our soul and not just with our lips, to feel our happy heart. For love we let go of what never made a point of staying.

Thamilly Rozendo