The day I accepted that you just weren’t for me

First of all, I want you to know that realizing that wanting you wasn’t enough wasn’t easy. We have always been taught that love is stronger than anything else. Movies, books, fairy tales tell us that. Even I was one of the people who believed that love could do everything.

But I ended up realizing that it wasn’t, and even though it seems a little harsh on my part, in our case love wasn’t enough. It wasn’t enough for me to feel that my heart was beating so fast that it almost felt like it was going to leave my chest when your arms were around me, nor was it enough for me to think that, after all, I had found the person with whom I would spend the rest of my life. life.

I wanted to stay by your side, to wake up with you in the mornings, for you to hold my hand when I left home; I wanted to wish you “good night” before turning off the light, and even for you to sleep right next to me.

And, as strange as it may seem, I also wanted other things that weren’t so good, such as continuing to ignore that emptiness in your eyes or the way you looked at other women when we were walking down the street.

I refused to ask things I knew, because I didn’t want to hear your answers to certain questions, such as how serious our relationship was, if we had any kind of exclusivity and fidelity, or worse yet, if what you felt for me was true love.

That was one of the worst mistakes I ever made, because something inside me was telling me that I should get out of there, and I ignored it as much as I could.

Love is not always easy. But today I know that what I felt for you wasn’t love, or at least it wasn’t real love. And please don’t be offended. I already understood that true love never ends, on the contrary, true love always continues without asking for anything in return.

The years passed and I matured. It was inevitable that you were left behind. But everything wasn’t always as easy as it is now and I wasn’t always the person I am today.

There were difficult months when I felt lost, when I drowned and disappeared in my own anguish and thoughts that terrified me so much. I knew that one day you would leave but I had no idea how to control the fear I felt of losing you.

WHO WANTS, MAKE YOU A PRIORITY! WHO DOESN’T WANT IT, MAKES YOU AN OPTION!

The process was lengthy. It took months, and if I hadn’t had so much strength it might have taken years. But one day I decided it was time to think about me. I remember many times that you accused me of making the wrong decision, of being selfish and refusing to see reality.

Do you know something? Your words had the opposite effect of what you wanted and it was thanks to them that one day I woke up to my reality.

You only loved yourself, and I couldn’t keep handing over something I didn’t even have for myself. How could I love you if I didn’t even love myself?

It wasn’t possible. Now I understand that you cannot love someone without first loving yourself, with your flaws but also with all the qualities and virtues that make us who we are.

I will never forget the day I was strong enough to make the decision that I was so afraid of before just thinking about it. It was like having freed myself, like breaking the chains that held me and opening the door that had remained closed for so long.

Even though it may seem strange, I want to thank you, because it was because of this experience that I lived with you that I learned to value myself and love myself as I should have always done. I want you to know this. Even when fate took you to a different path than mine.

I hope that you too have changed and that the women that life has put you by your side have learned to differentiate between the true and the false of your words.

I wanted you and I don’t regret it, because I know that despite all the constraints I went through with you, I was still human enough to love. Even if you are not for me.

SEE TOO:

One day everything will work out and you will laugh at what was once difficult