Exhausted mothers: burnout syndrome

We want to have everything under control and, when it seems that we have it, we succumb to exhaustion. Balancing work, family, partner, home, friends… is an increasingly common problem. Our lives get busy as we get older, more and more responsibilities appear and we want to fulfill all of them. This is one of the reasons why we can end up suffering from burnout syndrome.

Among those most affected by this syndrome are fathers and mothers, who sometimes see their interests overridden in favor of those of their children. If this is your case, the time has come to act; If we neglect ourselves, as paradoxical as it may seem, we will end up exhausted, without strength, and also neglecting our children..

Exhausted mothers affected by burnout syndrome

Suffering from this syndrome means experiencing intense and harmful stress due to failed attempts to reconcile parental life, social life or self-care. It is often a problem that affects mothers, since they are the ones who have traditionally taken care of children. Fortunately, more and more fathers act as such to the full extent of their role, even if this means that they too are affected by stress.

The syndrome of burnout that characterizes exhausted mothers is essentially that, a very acute or chronic stress that is generated when you have the feeling that everything is overwhelming, that everything is done wrong, that you have no control over anything. Feeling stress keeps us alive, it is the result of the secretion of adrenaline or cortisol, hormones that in the past helped us stay alive or be prepared to run for our lives in front of a predator. The problem comes when this threat does not actually exist.

Today the causes of our stress are very different, but our body continues to prepare us for primitive survival situations. It is because of that It is essential to establish our priorities well.

What are the causes of this syndrome?

As we have already indicated, The main cause of burnout syndrome is the stress generated by attempts to combine or reconcile the most important aspects of our lives. Family, friends, work, our intimate life… are essential for us, and not being able to reconcile them all, without falling into carelessness, generates frustration and anger.

Although it may seem ridiculous, we often think that we are capable of going to work early, taking care of the children, having a healthy life as a couple, gathering the family once a week, going out at night with friends and also resting. placidly. Unfortunately, we are not superheroes or superheroines: we need to learn to organize our time from a perspective real.

So how do we detect it?

Knowing if we are exhausted mothers who suffer from this syndrome is simple: if it affects us, we will not be able to sleep well, we will think obsessively about the free time that we do not have, we will blame the people around us for the problems. We will prefer to isolate ourselves and put social life aside to take a break and snooze on the couch. This will lead to isolation: loved ones may stop counting on us, causing us to feel alone and guilty.

How to act when faced with burnout syndrome?

To solve the problem, it is key that:

Let’s accept that we can’t do everything: we are not able to do everything we would like. Sometimes we think that we have time for both responsibilities and leisure, and this is not always true. This entails, of course, delegate our obligations. We should not be afraid to leave responsibilities in the hands of others when our health is at stake. In this way, we can rest and return to them when we are more willing. Although it is not a tasteful dish, it cannot always be delegated, and this entails give up some of our desires. If we don’t have time to clean and fix the house, we may not be able to afford a bigger one. Or no matter how much children love it, if we don’t have time for ourselves, it may not be a good idea to adopt a pet.To organize our lives, We have to first organize our mind, that is, establish priorities. There may be aspects of our lives that seem fundamental to us and, in reality, they are not. It is important to think about what we could do without.Don’t blame yourself (or others). Guilt is a feeling that prevents us from moving forward and blocks us. Let us remember that, although our intentions are good when we try to reconcile, if the objective is not met, we must avoid the temptation to blame ourselves. Instead, it would be good for us to try to propose solutions, as well as avoid blaming the people around us, even if doing so allows us a momentary release.

We should not feel like failures for not having everything under control. Our mind has more room than our hands, and that is not a bad thing.. In fact, our main objective should be to find time to enjoy those small moments, both alone and with others, to find peace and transmit it to the people around us.

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