Does sex between friends improve the relationship?

There was a stir after a study carried out in the United States was published. In it it was said that 20% of people consulted had sex between friends. The most surprising thing is that these same people indicated that sexual relations strengthened that friendship and that in a good percentage this led to a formal courtship.

The investigation was carried out in the Boise State University and was directed by Heidi Reeder. 300 people, including men and women, were surveyed. As indicated, 20% indicated that they had had sexual relations with a friend at least once in their life.

Respondents indicated that those relationships They occurred within the framework of an agreement in which it was explicitly agreed not to involve love. Also that the relationship was not going to imply any type of commitment. This is what is known as “friends with benefits”.

76% of people who had sex with friends indicated that after being intimate, the friendship relationship improved. In addition, 50% of them began a relationship formalwhich was maintained until the moment they were consulted.

Sex between friends, a new form of relationship

Regarding the issue of sex between friends, opinions are divided. There is no conclusion that can be applied to all cases, because The outcome of this type of relationship is closely related to the characteristics of those involved. In some cases, everything goes smoothly. In other cases, it just results in a lot of confusion.

The truth is that there are currently many couples of “friends with benefits.” These are spontaneous links in which sometimes explicit agreements are made and other times not. The pact basic is to maintain the friendship relationship, without sex being a reason to update the nature, commitment or etiquette of the bond.

In general, This works well when both consciously accept the rules of the game and respect them.. Difficulties arise if the agreement is not very clear for one of the two. Also when sex between friends is a strategy, conscious or unconscious, to get closer to a person with whom you want to maintain a formal relationship.

A bond without commitments

In principle, Sex between friends happens because two people know each other and there is attraction, but love does not arise. It is also because those involved do not want commitments. It is a type of relationship that is more common among adolescents than among adults.

Although there is sex between friends, this relationship is not that of lovers. This means that the feelings of friendship are present, but not those that are assumed to be felt in a couple. These types of friends share time together, talk a lot, make shared plans, but they do not have any “obligation” as a couple towards each other.

Therefore, There are all the conditions to form a relationship, except one: the willingness to commit to the other.. In one way or another, everything is allowed, except making demands or claims regarding the relationship.

The rules of the game

Sex between friends usually works when the rules of the game are respected and that type of bond is entered into with total honesty. The basic rules of a relationship of this style can be summarized in the following points:

There should be no claims related to commitment. Couple routines are not established.Both can have other types of relationshipswith other people, at any time. They do not plan a future together. There is no room for coexistence. Sexual encounters are usually casual and unplanned.

It is very important that the agreement that gives rise to this type of link is as explicit as possible.. What is not spoken, what is not agreed upon, can give rise to misunderstandings on one or both sides. Everything turns out better if those who decide to start a sexual relationship know each other well. Think that if you don’t know how the other person acts under certain circumstances, you can get unpleasant surprises (also pleasant ones of course!).

It is worth clarifying that There are circumstances in which this type of link is not convenient.. When one of the two has a romantic commitment, for example. Those types of love triangles are almost never a good idea. A sexual relationship between friends is also not good when those involved are ex-boyfriends. It can surely lead to many misunderstandings. Finally, if one of the two begins to feel in love, the right thing to do is to say so and reformulate or end the pact if the other does not feel the same.

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