Do you know how perverse communication works?

To destabilize a person it is not necessary to create a direct conflict or exercise physical violence. The use of irony, mockery or insinuations is part of a type of communication between equals in which an individual is harmed. We are talking about perverse communication and it can occur in couples, in friendships and in the workplace.

Perverse communication refers to a psychological torture towards a fellow human being, which does not make noise, but destabilizes and confuses the person to whom it is directed. All of this can start with a simple lack of respect without, of course, producing any feeling of guilt on the part of the person who issues it.

To exercise this type of communication It is enough for an individual to make fun of his partner’s personal tastes, achievements or expectations., both privately and publicly. It is also common to deprive them of the opportunity to express themselves or make insinuations about the other without clarifying them.

Other times it is as simple as stopping speaking to him, despite the constant attempts of checking that the “victim” makes to know if his partner is truly ignoring him for no apparent reason. These actions are normally accompanied by non-verbal communication through haughty looks or excessive sighs.

Irony and mockery: two forms of perverse communication

Irony and mockery are two weapons that these individuals use and that will determine their circle of relationships.. A priorithis attitude can give the impression of a strong individual since, in front of the gallery, it places him in the position of “the one who supposedly knows.”

The persistence of this attitude leads to the collective belief that that person “is like that.”. Ultimately, what he achieves is to create unpleasant climates and undesirable atmospheres in all those areas or facets of his life to which he extends his attitude. An attitude that at the same time contributes to never being able to create completely sincere and intimate communication spaces.

In that way, the interlocutor ends up consenting to the sarcasm, indifference and contempt of his or her partner, friend or co-workeras if they were the price you have to pay for maintaining a relationship with that attractive but extremely complicated partner.

Sarcasm and slight put-downs are used as small strokes that make others uncomfortable and annoying, and that frequently occur in the presence of other people. In addition, they usually have the reinforcement of an accomplice who is part of the group. In this way, the aggression is so insidious that the recipient comes to doubt whether the thing is serious or if it is a joke that he should accept.

The vicious circle of these relationships

These actions are so everyday that they seem like the most normal thing in the world. They start with a simple lack of respect, but lead to continuous attacks that will have important consequences for the psychological health of the sufferer.

It is something so sibylline and part of daily life that the victims end up choosing to assume and accept it: they end up elevating these people with the clear certainty that it is better to be with them than against them. This leads to a true distortion of the relationship between both parties.

Marie-France Irigoyen tells us about this type of violence, the one that sets in very stealthily and very gradually, and that the person who suffers it does not react to fight back, but instead manifests the attitude that most fuels the other’s covert aggression: excessive kindness. They believe that if they can be liked a little more, at some point their difficult partner will become polite.

Let us not forget that if at any time the injured party decides to rebel and take his feet off the hook a little, the perverse communicator will be in charge of stopping him, nullifying all capacity for critical thinking and making him lose the notion of his identity.

Who is the victim?

Those people who feel a certain insecurity about themselves are susceptible to being captured by those who manipulate. These types of people put the opinions of others before their own, because they believe that they will always know more about any topic. However, everything seems to indicate that The truly insecure person is the one who resorts to manipulation to feel stronger.

This type of people, and relationships, highlights the importance of educate from an early age in respect for others. We must understand that each individual is unique and unrepeatable and that they should not be a threat to their peers, as well as that each person is equally valuable. So yesby stepping strong wherever you go, because your physique, your opinions, your aspirations and your goals are worthy of being appreciated.

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