Do you communicate passively or assertively?

Surely you know those types of people who, with their way of speaking, of communicating, already denote a certain implicit violence. And even more so, you will also have encountered those others with whom you feel a certain distrust: because of their averted gaze, because of their condescension, because of an attitude that borders on falsehood, making you feel uncomfortable.

The reality of all this is that, deep down, we all know how to read between the lines and intuit what type of personality the person in front of us has when we talk to them..

It is worth giving a brief review of the three basic communication styles, not only to better understand those we have with us at work, on the street, in the family. Also to do a small act of introspection regarding our attitude when it comes to expressing, giving an opinion and dialoguing. Let’s see it next:

MAIN COMMUNICATION STYLES

1. aggressive communication

We are sure that you have encountered this type of communication more than once. It is based above all on the idea that one’s point of view and desires are above others. When we talk about aggressive language we are not referring at all to people who use bad-sounding words, who raise their voices and who address us in an insulting manner.

They do not hesitate to humiliate those around them, but when they do it, they have a special gift for making us believe that they are doing it for our good. To teach us, to show us how things are from their own point of view.

2. Passive communication

This type of communication is very common. Its main characteristic is that the person who uses it does not usually express or transmit his thoughts openly and directly.s. It can carry on with you a normal conversation, but little by little you will realize that it hardly gives you any information, that you are the one who talks most of the time.

They are rather passive people who hide what they think for two reasons. The first is because he doesn’t want to cause you harm by telling you what’s on his mind, or he simply doesn’t dare. They may be somewhat shy people, somewhat closed or, simply, their self-esteem at that moment is not very high and they do not feel comfortable or safe arguing what they really feel.

3. Assertive communication

This is undoubtedly the type of communication that we should all practice. It is the healthiest, the most productive and necessary among us. And what is it based on? Expressing our ideas openly and directly, without doing harm, without manipulating, without offending… to do this we must know how to manage emotions very well, knowing above all when to communicate and how to do it.
When they communicate, they use the personal pronoun above all: “I believe, I think, I think.”. Doing so does not imply a trait of selfishness, at all. What we aim to do is be sincere and open, always providing the correct information so that the dialogue is productive and effective. Providing trust, openness, transmitting values ​​and balance.

We know that sometimes, the type of communication depends on the moment. Sometimes our self-esteem is not very high and we are not able to dialogue effectively. At other times, you feel angry with a person and lean towards aggressive communication…. Falling into these poles is common. But we must encourage, develop and practice assertive communication above all. And you already do it?