Can a narcissist change?

People with narcissistic personality disorder are arrogant conceited, egocentric and haughty. They perceive themselves as superior to others, they strive to possess items that reflect status and to appear to have a successful life. Although they have feelings of grandiosity, they depend on the praise and attention they receive from others to bolster their ego.

As a result of this, Narcissists tend to be very sensitive to criticism, which they interpret as a personal attack. Can a person with this pattern of being and relating to the world change? Can the personality of a narcissistic person be modified?

Narcissistic tendencies tend to naturally diminish with age.

Characteristics of the narcissistic person

He Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders defines this personality disorder as a generalized pattern of grandiosity (fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning in early adulthood, and characterized by the presence of at least five of the following criteria:

Has feelings of greatness and is arrogant (e.g., exaggerates his achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without having corresponding successes). absorbed in fantasies of successpower, brilliance, beauty or perfect love.Believe it is special and uniqueand that can only be understood or can only be related to other special people (or institutions). It has a excessive need for admiration.Show a feeling of privilege (i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic fulfillment of your expectations).Exploit interpersonal relationshipsThat is, he takes advantage of others to achieve his own ends.Lacks empathy and is unwilling to identify with the needs of others. Often is envious of others or believes that others are envious of him. Shows behaviors and attitudes arrogant and haughty.

In general, the narcissistic person believes that he is better than others. Narcissism can also encourage aggressive behavior, in both men and women. These types of behaviors can arise as a mechanism for the person to defend themselves because they feel threatened and want to protect their ego.

Causes of narcissism

Some studies have suggested a genetic predisposition toward the disorder. Traits such as aggression, lack of tolerance for distress, and poor affective regulation stand out in narcissistic people (Weinberg, 2006).

It has also been noted that experiences of a negative nature, such as being rejected as a child and having built a fragile ego during early childhood, may have contributed to the onset of the disorder in adulthood (Žvelc, 2010; Otway and Vignoles, 2006). . Likewise, excessive praise and the belief that the child has extraordinary abilities can lead to the development of narcissism.

Other early experiences that contribute to this disorder are the following:

Abuse or trauma. Lack of an authentically validating environment. Overindulgence from parents. An emotional parenting environment full of deficiencies.

Can a narcissist change?

If you have researched narcissism, you may have come across statements about the difficulties we can have in stimulating changes in them. However, this is not necessarily the case. The truth is that Everyone is capable of change if they are willing to work to modify their behavior patterns.

What happens with narcissists is that they do not want to change, it is not that they cannot, it is that they do not see sufficient reasons to do so, because in their self-image of grandeur they perceive themselves as perfect. In fact, a investigation suggests that narcissistic tendencies tend to naturally decline with age.

The problem with treating a narcissist lies not in the misconception that he cannot change, but in the difficulty of convincing him that he needs treatment, since He won’t accept that there is something wrong with him. He is proud of the way he is and how he acts with others.

As we have seen, People with a narcissistic personality consider themselves superior and hardly recognize the importance of changing and being different.. Generally, when they are recommended to see a specialist, they think that the other person is envious of them. All of this makes it very difficult for change to be a possibility for them.

Narcissistic people often have resistance to psychological therapy because they believe they are superior to others and therefore see no reason for change.

How to tell if a narcissist is open to change

Some signs that the narcissistic person is willing to change are the following:

Begins to take responsibility for her actions when they are not good. She is willing to listen to others. She tries to improve her emotional regulation skills. She apologizes when one of her actions causes harm. She recognizes the feelings of others. She shows interest. by the motivations for their behavior. Examine and reflect on their behaviors without devaluing other people.

Once the person is committed to change, therapy can help them accept responsibility and learn the following:

Have and maintain personal relationships. Collaborate with others and not use them as means for your own selfish ends. Recognize and accept real and possible abilities, in order to tolerate criticism and failures. Increase the ability to understand and regulate emotions. .Improve self-esteem, making it more independent of the feedback of others.Free the person from the desire to meet impossible goals.Recognize what things are possible and what goals can be met without falling into idealistic fantasies of success.

Treatment may also include:

Identify narcissistic behaviors that are causing problems.Examine past experiences and assumptions that led to current behaviors.Reflect on how these behaviors affect others.Replace grandiose thoughts with more realistic ones.Explore new patterns of behavior and practice them.See the benefits of new habits.

To end, people are not condemned to maladjustment: they can change if they commit to the therapeutic process and materialize the desire to improve their way of relating to others, being aware of the value of others and rejecting the temptation to use them as if they were instruments whose sole purpose was to satisfy their desires, since whether directly or indirectly.

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