Detachment may signal emotional balance |

Many people have a characteristic that can be harmful to their mental and emotional health, which is attachment – whether for things, ideas, people or situations. This happens because affection, when excessive, holds us hostage to life, making everyday life heavy and joyless. Therefore, the ideal would be to always be prepared to accept possible and sudden transformations in our daily life, such as a change of job or house, changing a car, ending a relationship and even the death of loved ones. We know that these losses can be painful, but we need to find ways to face the disappointments and continue our lives as best we can.

Although more sensitive people have more difficulties in adapting to this type of situation – as they need the attention of others to carry out their tasks – it must be clear that the practice of detachment will not make them cold and distant, but will provide conditions for that they are calmer and more receptive, being able to perceive the changes in a more understandable way.

Excessive attachment affects physical and mental health

According to the doctor, physicist and meditation practitioner, Enio Burgos, author of the book “Inner Medicine – The medicine of the heart and mind” (Ed. Bodigaya), understanding the functioning of the mind and the transformation of negative feelings into wisdom are the most effective ways to practice detachment. The author indicates that thoughts and suffering generated by excessive attachment affect the health of the body. So we need to transform basic disturbing emotions (attachment, anger, indifference, pride and envy) into wisdom and fullness of life.

Describing the mind-body relationship, Enio’s theory shows that our thoughts and feelings play a fundamental role in the development of illnesses and difficulties that we face throughout life. According to the author, people with an attached profile tend to have a lot of difficulty adapting to new life situations, feeling these changes as a great loss and generating unbalanced emotions that are harmful to the body and mind. The expert mentions that beneficial alternatives to reverse this situation are meditation and self-knowledge, through spirituality.

Love relationships and letting go

The great master Osho, Indian spiritual leader, says that our biggest mission is to make this planet more loving. But then a very big difficulty arises, which is to understand the difference between attachment and love. It’s good to remember that despite the two feelings being very similar, attachment, deep down, destroys love.

Attachment causes all kinds of suffering in our lives, because it is a false love and ends up becoming a limitation. While love is surrender, attachment is possessiveness. Love lets go and attachment says, “I own you.” And it is because of attachment that there are wars, crimes, etc. As far as affective relationships are concerned, love is the readiness to immerse oneself in the other.

In general, we can say that detached people are calm, they are always in harmony, because they know their true essence and know that the possibility of losing some possession or distancing themselves from someone will not change their true nature. Attached people can present several symptoms such as anxiety, phobia, depression, that is, they are either afraid of losing or they lost and did not know how to deal well with the loss.

Attached people can show various symptoms such as anxiety, phobia, depression

We should note that when we say: “this is my girlfriend” or “this is my boyfriend”, we are saying something common. However, it is important to remember that the other person is not your possession, but someone who lives with you, sharing moments and situations. That is, she has wills and desires that are hers and freedom to act the way she considers best.

Ways to practice letting go

To practice detachment, it is important to resort to some mental exercises. We need to take control of our mind. After all, it is part of our body and therefore we cannot allow it to be dominated by the negative. Change happens continuously in our lives and we need to be prepared for it, in order to suffer less.

Tips:

Allow yourself to experience your feelings and thoughts and accept them exactly as they express themselves in you, knowing that you have the ability to regulate them. Don’t stop feeling certain feelings that manifest in your body, or try to prevent certain thoughts from arising in your mind. Be clear that we are not our feelings or thoughts, so they must be filtered by our conscience so that we do not judge that we are everything we feel or think. When our mind produces thoughts that are distressing for us, at first we should just observe them. We don’t need to add to these thoughts or judge them, just let them surface and pass through our mind. Instead of the whole destructive reasoning process, you’ll just watch your thinking, without judgment, and say to yourself, “Oh, I’m having a thought that alerts me that something might be wrong with me. I am not this thought. I will not follow you. I will focus on the things I have to do today.” It is important to allow yourself to live your experience. For example, when you feel depressed or distressed, try to notice where in your body you feel physical changes. Is it in the throat area? In the chest? On the back of the head? In the stomach? Feel and observe your discomfort. Stay temporarily with your pain, anguish or anxiety. Then accept it. Then direct your attention towards learning to deal with your feelings and thoughts, regulating them until they can diminish or extinguish.

Although this whole process and explanation of accepting and letting go of your emotional pain may not completely solve problems like anxiety, depression and anguish, you will find that you can stop being overwhelmed by your negative feelings and thoughts. You will learn to stop being negatively conditioned by the harmful mental pattern you have created over the years. This allows you to create space around your thoughts and feelings, experiencing them without affecting your life.

Another huge benefit is that you no longer use much of your energy against yourself or trying to resist the natural flow of life. With this, you will be able to more easily connect with the significant people in your life, engage with the world around you, and be functional from your painful inner experience, rather than having to wait until you feel better.