Destructive emotions according to Daniel Goleman

One of Daniel Goleman’s most interesting books is Destructive emotions. In this work, he explains that when the Dalai Lama met with him and a small group of scientists and philosophers at the summit of the Mind Life Institute, the world was about to change. Just a few months later, the September 11 attacks in New York would happen.

That book was the result of all the conversations held with the spiritual leader, but also of what was experienced afterwards. Why are human beings capable of committing violent acts? They asked themselves at that historic meeting. Why are apparently intelligent and rational people capable of carrying out destructive behaviors?

Psychologists, psychiatrists, sociologists and any analyst of human behavior would, without a doubt, talk about education, context, personality, they would talk about social factors and even genetic and cerebral aspects. However, The Dalai Lama delved into an aspect in which Goleman felt a special harmony: difficult emotions. Those that are often governed by mere impulses and that reveal the worst of ourselves.

While from psychology we can understand these realities as “emotions of negative valence”, Buddhism labels them as kleshas or impurities, disturbing elements that poison the mind.

Good management and understanding of difficult emotions are our greatest challenge

A spiritual perspective

The first question that may come to mind with this topic is, but do destructive emotions really exist? From the field of emotional psychology There is one aspect that is often stressed: there are no negative emotions.

The entire spectrum of our emotions serves a purpose; Therefore, it is not entirely correct to assume that there are good and bad emotions. Fear, for example, guarantees survival, sadness urges us to a period of introspection to accept certain realities and change others.

These states, somewhat more adverse and difficult for human beings to assume, are of key importance in our behavior and also in our survival. Therefore… what was Daniel Goleman’s purpose when he wrote Destructive emotions? Well, first of all, there is an aspect that should be clarified.

This book is framed within spiritual practice. Specifically, from the perspective of the Dalai Lama. For this reason, Goleman differentiates the Western view of emotions and that more philosophical and less scientific view of Buddhism that. Even so, he offers us a valuable framework from which to reflect.

Furthermore, in those talks held with the Lama in 2001, a good part of those most rigorous minds in the West surrendered to the approach of the Tibetan leader. And they did it for very different reasons.

Adverse emotions: mental states that affect our words and actions

Buddhist philosophy reveals to us that our most common sources of suffering and unhappiness are integrated into a series of adverse emotions that plunge us into nihilism, ignorance and materialism. They are, according to the Dalai Lama, mental states that distort our internal dialogue, the way we communicate with others and also in our behavior.

However So what are these very adverse emotions according to Buddhism? They are the following:

1. Hatred

Hate is the most basic, devastating and primary drive of the human being. Research work such as those carried out at the University of Amsterdam, for example, highlights that people hate other people more for who they are than for what they do. We hate by instinct, but also by social and cultural factors, by those biases that our education often inoculates.

2. Anger

Anger, like love or disgust, is one of the primary emotions of human beings. It is key to our survival because it allows us to react to what is not fair or what outrages us. The problem is that we often fall into the trap of anger due to the dominance of the ego, irrationality and the lack of adequate emotional regulation.

3. Frustration

If there is a common state that children experience, it is frustration. When the world is not the way we want it to be, we allow ourselves to be trapped by those uncomfortable feelings full of indignation that limit us so much. The A frustrated person is someone who does not accept what surrounds him and prevents himself from growing, applying new strategies and advancing as a human being.

4. Anger

Anger drives us to fight, to escape, or to stay still without knowing how to react. It is one of the most classic destructive emotions, because it is associated with violence and self-destruction. However, beyond the spiritual field, psychology sees it as a basic and necessary experience. Thanks to it we act against injustices, but always that we regulate it well and apply appropriate action strategies.

5. Jealousy

Jealousy is born from distrust and the need for possession. We fear losing those we love and this inoculates our minds with new destructive emotions, such as anger and frustration. Far from being a sign of love, they reveal our immaturity, our lack of trust in others.

6. Pride

Pride or ego shows two poles. The positive is that which allows us to be custodians of ourselves, valuing what we are, what we have and are capable of doing. However, The human being frequently allows himself to be carried away by that ego that feeds narcissism.and that lays the foundations for arrogance and selfishness.

7. Envy

Wanting what the other has, hating the other because it is what one would like to be. Isn’t that one of the weakest and most problematic traits of the human being? Indeed, Among destructive emotions is undoubtedly that internal experience dominated by pain when feeling or having what others have. Instead of working on what we want, we position ourselves to hate others.

The four antidotes

From a scientific point of view, it should be noted that the Dalai Lama is not too wrong if we take one aspect into account. There are indeed destructive emotions that distort us and steal our human potential. Also our health.

An example, according to a study carried out at the University of Sydney. The risk of suffering a heart attack is 8.5 times higher in the two hours after experiencing intense and excessive anger. It is something that we must take into account.

Buddhism and psychology have joined their fields many times to offer us new perspectives from which to promote well-being. In fact, it was in the 1960s when this dialogue between Buddhism and Western sciences began. Works such as those of Erich Fromm and Carl Gustav Jung, for example, began that path. Which would later culminate in the Dalai Lama’s meetings with figures such as Daniel Goleman, Paul Ekman, Richard J. Davidson and Matthieu Ricard, etc.

In all this space of connection and learning, concepts such as evil, suffering and happiness have always been reflected on. So, Something interesting that Buddhism always transmits is that there are “antidotes” for the kleshayes, for those destructive emotions that poison our mind. They are the following:

Kind love (maitri; byams pa).The compassion (karuna; snying rje).Empathic joy (mute; dga’ba).Humility (upeksha; btang snyom).

Meditation is an excellent strategy to regulate difficult emotions

The benefits of meditation to master difficult emotions

For Buddhist philosophy, meditation is common to train the mind. and thereby achieve a state of calm, better balance and appreciation of the present moment. Studies such as the one carried out by Dr. Richard Davidson from the University of Wisconsin-Madison have been key to demonstrating the great benefits of this practice.

Dr. Davidson’s work has lasted more than three decades and in it, highlights how meditation promotes neuroplasticity and generates very positive changes in our brain. Stress is reduced, we improve attention, creativity, emotional management…

So much so, that Daniel Goleman himself has not hesitated to dedicate more than one book to this topic, such as the one published two years ago entitled Initiation to mindfulness.

To conclude, destructive emotions are basically internal states that put limits on our potential, on our well-being and that also bring out the worst in ourselves. Both Buddhism and modern psychology agree on one aspect: it is in our power to control those impulses, those internal storms.. We have resources and we can do it.

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