“The son’s jealousy towards his mother comes from the fact that for nine months he was part of her”, says Miguel Perosa, psychotherapist
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“Sai, she’s my girlfriend!”, says the little boy with a macho pose, pushing his father off the couch. The “girlfriend” in question is the mother! It may seem cute, funny, naive. But the jealousy that a son has from his mother can become a serious thing over the years. This is the case of children who boycott their mothers’ boyfriends, for example. Or those who take such a protective stance towards mothers that they end up avoiding contact with their own fathers! And that might not be healthy at all. Learn how to deal with the most common jealousy scenes of children or teenagers.
Find out if his jealousy is normal
It’s normal to feel jealous of what has meaning to us. But he crosses the line when you don’t run any risk of losing what you love and, even so, you get jealous. “The son’s jealousy towards his mother comes from the fact that for nine months he was part of her”, says Miguel Perosa, a psychotherapist.
The son becomes insecure when he sees that the mother’s attention is not exclusive to him. Hence, he adopts a possessive behavior that is not good for anyone. The secret to not having a jealous child is to show her that she likes him the way he is and encourage him to socialize with other people.
Everything has a limit
1. The mother introduces a new boyfriend
According to psychologist Sylvia Van Enck, parents’ involvement with other partners should be communicated little by little to their children: “First, let them know that you will be going out with friends, people they know, or bring a few people to a meeting at home. Thus, the child perceives that the mother maintains friendly relations. Then talk about the person you’re seeing. Introduce her to your child and allow them to have some interaction to start forming an affectionate and trusting bond”. Don’t force anything.
2. The Son Disputes with the Father
If the son disputes the father’s place in the mother’s life, or the daughter with the mother, limits must be imposed. This is a common case, but quite serious: understand the child’s feeling, but without finding it “funny”. Your relationship with your partner should be very clear to your children, showing that you both are important to you, but that you love them in different ways.
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