Committed people inspire confidence in others

Committed people inspire our confidence. They build a safe path on which to direct our steps. They are light in the darkness. Committed people make us feel calmer when it comes to tolerating uncertainty, since we know that they will act as they have already stated.

Someone who commits to something does not only do so in big plans or big projects. He also does it with small gestures. And small gestures, in truth, have a much greater value than we think.. Imagine that person who every time you get ready to set a day to meet again, he ends up canceling the appointment. He cancels her several times. Sometimes even when you are already going out to meet them.

Committed people do not resort to lies to justify themselves

But not only does he do it when you want to see each other, but you have already perceived that he is someone to doubt. Someone who ends up generating uncertainty in you that is inappropriate for a friend. He cancels commitments, finds hundreds of excuses to justify his lack of interest… Little lies that, added one after another, generate a devastating effect on the other person. The effect of mistrust. Lack of trust kills relationships. It fills us with insecurity. It is fertilizer for the realm of uncertainty.

And uncertainty is that silent killer that destroys any fertile ground in our lives. That we are not interested in a person or that we do not like them is something totally natural. Something we shouldn’t be ashamed of. What’s more, the strange thing would be if everything always interested us in the same way.

Nobody forces us to commit to what we don’t want.

Somehow the solution here seems simple. If I’m not interested in something, I walk away from it because I have no interest in committing to it.. However, there are people who have so instilled in themselves to please everyone that they end up canceling themselves out. All because of a tireless search for the approval of others.

They get lost and will find a dull cry inside them that will warn them that there is something wrong in their lives. Something that doesn’t work authentically. Maybe you think about that time you did something just to please the other person. You didn’t feel comfortable. You probably felt “sold” to something that didn’t suit you.

However, when we talk about people we do care about, it is important to reflect on how trustworthy we are proving to be to those people. If we want to be trustworthy or if this is really something that doesn’t matter so much to us.

Give value to your word if you want to be a trustworthy person

If you want to be reliable you can think about those times when you didn’t feel like doing something but you made an excuse to get out of it. Imagine other times when you committed to something and failed to make that commitment. A feeling of shame will surely appear. Of regret perhaps.

But…, regret, why? The healthiest thing would be to regret having given our word when we do not have complete certainty that we could keep it. Sometimes we make small commitments through life without thinking coldly about whether we will be able to fulfill them or not.. And the truth is, when we really care about something, we make many of these commitments with the best of our intentions.

In this sense, we must be aware of how we harm and damage the ties that bind us to others. Trust and security form a large part of the foundation we need to have good relationships with others. If I distrust someone and feel insecure around them, that relationship is doing little for me. It doesn’t let me be me, it doesn’t let me throw myself into it from the peace of mind of being welcomed.

Taking stock of your commitments is a good start

If I systematically break my word… If I constantly fail to fulfill my commitment, I will be damaging the trust that the other person placed in me. Of course there are times when we will have to fail on commitments.

Committed people also have to postpone their commitments from time to time. They are not relentless. Unforeseen events that arise and must be attended to. But we talk about this breach of our word by system and without a higher order justification.

We have the right not to be able to commit to everything. Not wanting to commit ourselves to what we don’t feel like doing or to what we know we won’t be able to achieve. We have the right to be authentic and honest with others and with ourselves. However, it is important at the same time to give value to our word and everything to which we freely decide to commit ourselves.

This way it will be easier to review our relationships and the reasons for so many behaviors. Once we understand that our word, no matter how “small” it may be, has value both for us and for others, we will give it the importance it deserves. And we will not waste it, therefore, so easily.

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