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Birthday Blues: why does my birthday make me sad?

Our birthday is different. Typically, others praise us, pay more attention to us, and are more sensitive to our needs. Something that is positive; However, this day produces another series of effects that can make us not want it to arrive so much…

Written and verified by the psychologist Elena Sanz.

For many people, their birthday is the most special and magical day of the year. During this day they receive attention, praise, gifts and gratitude from those around them. For others, however, It is a sad and confusing day that they prefer to ignore as much as possible. Why does this happen? We tell you more about it Birthday Blues.

It is worth mentioning that you do not have to fully belong to one group or another: those who love their birthday or those who suffer Birthday Blues. In fact, even your reaction and mood may vary from year to year. Even so, if you are one of those who feels anxious or depressed when completing a new return to the sun, these are some of the possible reasons.

Birthday Blues is characterized by a negative mood for birthdays.

What is Birthday Blues?

He Birthday Blues (or birthday depression) affects many people. It is a negative mood and a set of symptoms that occur during the days before and after the birthday.. Thus, the person may feel apathetic, sad and listless, but also anxious and restless.

If you experience this situation you may have felt alone and strange. Why does a day that should feel happy and pleasant cause you such unhappiness? The truth is that you are not alone. There are many people who, like you, suffer from the following symptoms when their birthday approaches:

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Negative, depressed or anxious mood. These unpleasant sensations do not go away and you may experience sudden urges to cry for no apparent reason. You can feeling tired and apathetic, without motivation and, of course, without the desire to plan or celebrate “your day.” Maybe you feel more introspective and reflective and prefer to isolate yourself. Social contact may not be to your liking these days. They may appear appetite and sleep disturbances (insomnia, frequent awakenings or excessive sleeping). Probably during this period of time your head does not stop, you may have intrusive thoughts unpleasant things about yourself or your life. It is also common for physical discomfort such as muscle pain or headaches.

Why does birthday depression occur?

It may be difficult for you to understand why this state of mind that hits you before your birthday is due. But, in reality, there are several important reasons:

Excessive pressure and expectations

It is no secret to anyone the pressure that revolves around the day of one’s birthday. It is a special day (as is also the case with Christmas) when It seems that it is an obligation to be happy and content. Others expect you to be excited about your birthday or to throw a party. And this pressure usually takes its toll.

What should be a pleasant moment can become an imposition, at the same time opening the door to disappointment. Friends who cannot/want to attend the celebration, family members who forget, a day that turns out to be chaotic and complicated and in which we are forced to smile… Of course, this is not a dish of good taste.

Important losses and absences

A birthday is the time to gather our loved ones, feel surrounded by them and be grateful for their presence in our lives. But what happens when some of them are no longer there? What happens if we have suffered significant losses? On this day (and the days before) Their absence is felt more than ever and this can fill us with nostalgia, sadness and hopelessness.

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Reflection on one’s own identity and progress

It has been seen that one of the main reasons why we suffer Birthday Blues It is because birthdays force us to reflect on ourselves. Symbolically, it represents the end of a cycle and invites us to take inventory of the achievements and failures achieved so far.

Socially, there is a strong pressure linked to age: At a certain point we should have completed university education, we should have a successful job, we should have gotten married and had children. In addition, there are our personal goals, what we believed we would have achieved by this moment.

What happens if these expectations have not been met? What if our life is nothing like what it “should be” or what we would like it to be? What if at some point it was and we feel that it has fallen apart? When the results are not as expected, this recapitulation and assessment of who we are can be anything but pleasant.

Fear of aging

Finally, we cannot forget that a birthday is a reminder that we are getting older. So, the fear of growing older and the fear of death They can be presented in a particularly forceful way.

There are those who are overwhelmed by this feeling early on, but for older people it is especially difficult to deal with this reality that is so evident today.

For many people, turning a birthday means reviewing the important losses throughout their lives.

Dealing with Birthday Blues is possible

If he Birthday Blues It affects you in an important way, It is essential that you be flexible and compassionate with yourself. Remember that you have no obligation to feel happy because it is your birthday, you don’t have to celebrate or do anything you don’t want to. It is totally legal to dedicate this day to yourself, to take care of yourself, to be alone and to reflect calmly.

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If negative feelings appear, do not blame yourself, do not reject them or hide them, allow them to flow, feel them and express them. It can be a great opportunity to get to know yourself better, connect with you better, and give yourself the attention you’ve been denying yourself all year.

In addition to all this, if the discomfort is very great, Remember that you can ask for professional help. Perhaps it is time to address those fears, frustrations and pains that you have been carrying. He Birthday Blues It can have important effects on your health, so it is advisable to put yourself in the hands of experts.

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All cited sources were reviewed in depth by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, validity and validity. The bibliography in this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

Alter, M. (2006). Birthday blues. Neurology, 67(2), E3-E4.Barraclough, BM, & Shepherd, DM (1976). Birthday blues: The association of birthdays with self-inflicted death in the elderly. Acta Psychiatrica Scandinavica, 54(2), 146–149. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1600-0447.1976.tb00106.x

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