Being a “good person”: a dialectical trap

You are invited to a birthday party, you don’t know anyone, but the birthday girl insists that you go. At a certain point in the conversation, she tells you “it’s okay because you don’t know anyone, I I present to you Jorge, a good friend, who is a very good person, You’ll see how you connect and get along.”

Really, there is nothing strange or fictional about this situation. Often, When we go to meet other people, we get references from others about what they are like. This information helps us contextualize the moment of meeting that person or people and reduce uncertainty.

However, it is very curious that lack of time or our innate tendency to simplify reality pushes us to provide this type of information in a very polarized and superficial way. So much so that Everyone understands when someone is labeled a “good person” or a “bad person.” Let’s dig deeper.

What does it mean to be a good person?

Perhaps this is a more difficult question to answer than it may seem. Being a “good person” encompasses a whole set of behaviors, cognitions, attitudes and motivations so extensive that it is impossible to define it.

Furthermore, not only is it difficult to delimit this concept in itself, but it is also extremely complicated to make a definition that transcends all cultures, societies and groups. That is to say, It is likely that what we call “being a good person” in a given culture has little to do with the notion of this concept in another. different.

Even within the same culture, context determines the meaning of this concept. Do you think that the concept of a “good person” would be the same in a dictatorship as in a democracy? Would it be the same in a context of scarcity and need as in a context of abundance? Probably not.

“Good person” is a construct made up of two words. Being a person is a question of metaphysical order that perhaps in this context and in the topic at hand it is not worth entering.

However, the key element here is kindness. Without a doubt, a totally and absolutely subjective quality, susceptible to evaluation by anyone. This evaluation, whether someone is good or bad, is influenced by many variables, such as the life history of the person evaluating, their personality, their social and family context, etc.

For example, it is not uncommon for people who have been committing crimes since childhood to empathize with the antagonists of movies, series or novels, justifying their criminal behavior and attributing to them noble intentions.

An ill-founded self-demand

Our parents and teachers often express that your wish When we are little, we become good people. In fact, this desire, which manifests itself in many ways through a specific educational style, is present from the first years of our childhood.

As if it were a seed, it grows and is integrated into our conception of ethics. But, as mentioned above, The notion of being a “good person” is very present in our way of living and at the same time it is poorly defined.

What does it take to be a good person? The tendency to try to be good people translates into taking actions that do not cause harm or that provide a direct or indirect benefit to someone. The problem comes when this tendency becomes something close to an obsession.

And if we conceive that to be a good person we cannot harm anyone and we must have total control of our behavior at all times, the outlook does not seem very encouraging. In life, sometimes we hurt people, with or without intention, and we lose control, we do or say things that we may regret… In short, Our condition predisposes us to make mistakes that can affect and harm others.

So aren’t there good and bad people?

It’s not that there are or aren’t good or bad people. Rather, the way we obtain and provide information from a person is dysfunctional most of the time. How can we create a reliable idea of ​​a person’s goodness? Perhaps an evaluation of the person’s behavior is more interesting than of the person themselves.

No, there are no good or bad people. There are behaviors that can be considered and reduced to “good” or “bad”, but even so, it is necessary to contextualize them, since sometimes a certain behavior can be socially considered harmful, but when placed in a context, the image of this behavior can change and even become considered positive.

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