Bad education and lack of manners, what are they due to?

Bad education and lack of manners have no age. It is not a question of children or adolescents, going through that often reactionary and problematic stage. In our daily lives we can see inappropriate reactions and unethical behavior in experienced people, in men and women who, with their bad habits, make coexistence very complicated.

For what is this? Why does this lack of civility fail? When we perceive this lack of social norms in our children It is common to blame parents and even, why not, a school that sometimes fails, and which according to many is deficient and does not always succeed in its cultural, educational and disciplinary mission. Maybe it’s true or maybe it’s not; However, if we want to be precise and fair, we have to go further.

When rudeness becomes present in our social and work settings, those inhabited by adults, we continue to wonder why it happens. So, If we address this issue it is due to a very specific fact, and that is the impact that bad manners can have on us.. For example, in a survey carried out among the French population a few years ago, they were asked what caused them the most stress.

Just behind unemployment was the behavior of people. Factors such as rudeness, lack of civility, lack of respect or uncivil habits in work environments were one of those elements that generated the greatest stress and anxiety in the French population. This way, Bad education worries and is a source of contamination for coexistence.

Bad education: the loss of civility

Shouting to talk, interfering in other people’s lives, interrupting conversations, laughing at others, humiliating, not respecting the furniture, not saying thank you or even being more aware of cell phones than the people in front of you… We could give a thousand examples of that habitual bad manners that are difficult to get used to.

It should be noted that we do not have data to know if these uncivil behaviors are more frequent than a few years ago, but what is evident is that they leave consequences. Somehow, we are forgetting something important. Good manners and forms are not an anachronism or a social invention inherited from the 18th century.that time that Octavio Paz called the last civilized century.

Good education actually builds a framework of respectful coexistence. Thanks to good manners, we create scenarios where that value, respect, rules. Thus, elements such as correctness in treatment, recognition of others and that daily effort to facilitate coexistence, lay the foundations of civility.

Bad manners and rudeness hurt

This fact is undoubtedly as curious as it is true. Bad education, bad manners and rudeness generate what is known as social pain. It was the psychologist Naomi Eisenberg, from the University of California, who carried out a study to analyze the impact of these dimensions. It was discovered that these types of behaviors have an impact at the brain level.

Not only do they make coexistence difficult, but they also hurt, They cause stress and break that social principle that is respect, and that our brain interprets as significant for feeling good, calm and in harmony.

Why are there people with bad manners and bad education?

Adolf Knigge, an 18th century writer, wrote a well-known book titled How to treat people. Far from being a moralistic and sugar-coated work, it stands, according to current philosophers and psychologists, as a complete manual of urban planning and behavioral beauty that could serve as inspiration.

Because, What fuels bad education today? Why do we see it in some of our children and, above all, among the adult population? These would be some factors that would explain it.

Personality profiles with narcissistic patterns. They are people with a lack of empathy who do not usually respect other people’s limits. Often, People accustomed to exercising power (managers, senior business officials, etc.) often overlook their manners and respect for others. The antisocial personality (or antisocial personality disorder) would be another example of this behavior but often taken to the extreme. In this case, the violation of the rights of other people is common. On the other hand, the educational factor is often raised as the key trigger for bad manners. An upbringing based on disorganizing attachment, the lack of basic rules, the lack of limits or even a poor family environmentestablishes that challenging behavior where manners, respect and education fail.Bad education in childhood and adolescence ends up becoming chronic in adulthood. This means that we have adults with no resistance to frustration, with serious difficulties in adjusting to the rules and who are also accustomed to disrespecting others.

Conclusion

Pythagoras used to say that if we teach children correctly and effectively, there will be no need to punish adults tomorrow. This phrase contains a great truth, since everything that is established in childhood forms the basis for the rest of life.

Bad education impoverishes our society. Elements such as good manners, respect for others, civility, correction or social empathy are not anachronistic elements.. They are ways of structuring the way we relate and live together. Let us therefore take care of this valuable aspect.

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