Are you afraid of what they will say?

The fear of what people will say is a reality that occurs very frequently. It is that silent anguish of being judged, of having certain ideas about us. It is clear that we all need to be accepted, but falling into these types of thoughts permanently can completely condition our way of life.

Behind this approach very often hides a lack of self-esteem. We can always feel more or less uneasy about the opinion that those people we appreciate and who are important to us may have of us. However, We must never lose our freedom, our authentic essence.
“What they will say” is a double-edged shadow that has always existed. It is the one that puts up walls to our autonomy, that slows our steps and that forces us to be attentive so as not to break those implicit norms of what is supposed to be “okay.”

There are many social scenarios that are still impregnated with social prejudices, with that rancid dust that not only lives in small towns behind the curtains. This concern is experienced daily in work environments and even in our own families…

Keys to facing the fear of “what will they say”

The fear of what they will say places us in a state of eternal “hypervigilance.” We direct our attention towards that external universe where we can draw self-conclusions about what others may be thinking about us.

We feed a defensive analysis, we even change behaviors to adjust to what others expect. They are behaviors that describe what in psychology we understand as interpretive bias. What’s more, we cannot ignore the fact that this type of bias is directly linked to anxiety.

Studies such as the one carried out at the University of Utrecht by doctor elke Salemin, show us this relationship: if we obsess over interpreting everything we see, hear or if we live focused on what people may think of us, We feed the cycle of anxiety.

1. Overcome your fear of rejection

If your happiness is being hindered by that barrier, stop and think for a moment about that situation. Is it really worth it?

If what you really fear is being rejected by that family, those friends or that society, You must put both parts on your scale to see which weighs more in your heart.We cannot be what we are not, nor eternally silence our thoughts and desires. Pretending to be something we are not, allows frustration to appear one day or another, and with it, low self-esteem.

Not worth it. Our personal balance comes first, as does our psychological balance.

2. It is impossible to please everyone

There is something that we must be clear about from the beginning, something that should be taught to us as children: It is impossible to please everyone. And not only is it impossible, it’s even healthy. The fear of what they will say is related precisely to this need, that of fitting in.

Each of us has a personality, criteria and a voice. Not fitting in with other people in turn sets appropriate limits that give us identity.

We don’t have to get along with selfish personalities who don’t respect other people. That humiliate and destroy. Not getting along with those types of people offers me autonomy and respect for my own scale of values. It is something necessary and hygienic.

Likewise, there is still another aspect that we must understand: the more insecure we are, and the less clear our ideas are, the worse they will value us.

Define your criteria, your positions, stay firm in your values ​​and defend yourself. Well-developed personalities with strong self-esteem do not let themselves be defeated, and they do not have to fear “what people will say.”

3. Accept criticism, put aside the fear of what they will say

Criticism is part of all social dynamics. Therefore, we must try to analyze them for what they are: “other points of view.” And as such, we must respect them without dramatizing them.

Each of us will have an approach to what life is, and With these varied and diverse points of view we must learn to live together. But always without judging or taking it to extremes.

4. Defend your position

Others may want to impose their ideas on you. Let them preach about their own moralities, their own social norms, about what is right and what is wrong. Do not let that happen.

You must defend your positions, your ideas and your needs, Don’t let yourself be defeated or underestimated… because when your own values ​​are attacked, you will be losing yourself.

To extinguish and overcome the fear of what they will say, praise yourself, take a stand.

5. Work on your self-esteem

Have a strengthened self-esteem It is key to understanding that our personal worth does not depend on others, but on ourselves. Furthermore, if we have a strengthened self-esteem, we will be able to accept ourselves as we are, with our strengths and weaknesses. Thus, it will be very difficult for criticism from third parties to affect us negatively.

There are various strategies that we can do ourselves to strengthen self-esteem. However, sometimes we need the assistance of a professional to help us with the process.

6. Nobody is perfect

Another reality that you must begin to accept is the impossibility of achieving perfection., so don’t look for it. We all make mistakes and that’s okay, because thanks to them we can learn from experiences.

Seeking perfection to please others leaves nothing but frustration and discouragement. Of course, this does not mean that we never aim for better performance, on the contrary, the idea is not to become obsessed with the idea.

7. Act according to your own principles

This idea is applicable to any area. Even when you go to buy clothes and you let yourself be influenced by those who accompany you.

Always do what makes you feel good, What allows you to be happy in small and big decisions. Because if we lose our voice little by little, there will come a time when we won’t even hear ourselves.

It’s worth it? Of course not. Claim your rights and say it out loud. “The fear of what they will say” is just a cold and stale wind that doesn’t have to affect you.

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