Are you a controlling person? |

Having life in order is something that many of us aspire to, but few achieve. This happens because it takes discipline, an analytical mind, good will, persistence and constancy, which is not always easy, desirable or pleasant.

Those who have the ability to organize their routine can accomplish many things and assume different responsibilities. However, when control becomes the center of your life and reality, this person can simply lose sight of the essentials and, thus, suffer a series of harms, including nervous breakdowns, illnesses and even affective disruptions.

Below are some characteristics that may suggest that a person is controlling.

Invasion of privacy – if we don’t trust the other, we will want to control them. For this to work, we will have to obtain as much information as possible, leading us to unethical actions, such as hacking email or social network accounts, snooping on purses and cell phones, or even speculating with acquaintances. This type of attitude may not be discovered, but it certainly sows discord and creates an abyss between you and the person under surveillance, as your mistrust modifies your behavior and commitment to the relationship is not the same. Apart from the fights that happen just because of your impressions and not due to real facts. Lack of limits – if we think we have the right to control the other, we can often make decisions in his absence or tell about his intimate life, without thinking about the emotional consequences for the person involved. Feeling of omnipotence – when we are very efficient, we can propagate the false idea that we are irreplaceable. Thus, we believe that we are “owners of the truth”, not accepting ideas or suggestions from others, no matter how good they are. In addition, there is a tendency to literally boss others around, demanding that they act and live in our image and likeness. Fear of the new – if we like to control, this means that things must always happen in a certain way, the routine must remain, unforeseen events cannot arise. However, life is not a computer program (and even this one often takes us by surprise!). The fact is that if something, out of our planning appears, we lose balance, we get nervous, tense, we fight against it instead of simply dealing with the issue and adapting. Overloading – if we assume that people are unreliable or will not do the right things (read “our way”), the tendency is to accumulate more and more functions, tasks, activities and responsibilities, becoming exhausted and dissatisfied . After all, we end up not being able to relax or have fun, because there will always be something to be done, analyzed, supervised, accompanied. At these times, learning to delegate is a saving attitude.

Did you recognize yourself in any of these items? Here are some tips for using only the good side of the controller:

Humility – remember that the world does not revolve around you, so not everything depends on you and, making mistakes is normal and expected, not meaning that you are any less because of it.
Freedom – let people express themselves freely. You’ll only find out if someone is really good if you see what they’re capable of. If you always take the lead, you will never be surprised.
peace of mind – do Meditation, relaxation, Yoga, Tai Chi Chuan, take flower remedies, do therapy, take vacations, stay in touch with nature. The important thing is to be calm and calm, because your actions will be more accurate and you will suffer less.
diversify – do not limit your life to useful activities. Put color, joy and fun into it by doing other things, including those that won’t get you anywhere but will bring you more personal satisfaction.