Affective responsibility: importance and how to develop it

Affective responsibility is behind many of the requests we make to validate our needs. A term that motivates reflection on how we manage our sexual, social, family or work relationships.

In any close connection, It is essential to take into account and respect the emotions and vulnerabilities of the other. This type of responsibility is a combination of empathy, awareness and action.

Below, we will explore what this concept entails, how it manifests, and how we can practice greater emotional responsibility in our dealings with others.

What is emotional responsibility?

It is the ability to recognize that our behaviors affect people’s emotions with whom we maintain an intimate relationship. It is a type of awareness that allows us to consider the feelings of others before acting or making a decision that affects them.

Thus, emotional responsibility implies being careful, cautious and reflective in our relationships. Through it it is possible to respect limits and agreements, and proceed assertively while remembering the emotions, vulnerabilities and needs of the other person.

Being responsible in the sentimental field requires a lot of attention, since intimate relationships change.. People have new needs, desires and limits that demand our attention, respect and responsibility.

Now, emotional responsibility must not only be had with others, but also we must have them with ourselves. It is our duty to understand that the behavior of others affects us and that we must take care of our physical and emotional well-being.

This concept moves, then, between two polarities: one’s own emotions and the emotions of others; the well-being of the other person and your own. The key to its application is balance, taking care of yourself and taking care of yourself..

What behaviors does emotional responsibility encompass?

It is manifested through specific behaviors and attitudes that demonstrate consideration and care for the feelings and emotions of others. Below, we will review several behaviors and attitudes that reflect this responsibility.

1. Awareness in the emotional bond

Personal and intimate relationships are not just a superficial connection. On the contrary, they are an area full of complexity, changes and commitments, where emotions, experiences, needs and expectations are intertwined.

These bonds demand awareness, analysis, reflection, attention and care. They involve recognizing the emotional experience of the other in each interaction with the purpose of caring for it and validating it. That’s why, awareness is essential to be responsible on an emotional level.

2. Clarity of intentions

Emotional responsibility is observed in the honesty and clarity with which we express what we want and expect from an intimate bond. Lack of clarity in intentions can generate ambiguities and confusion that can hurt and be painful for the other person.

3. Emotional reflection

When we act responsibly, we think before we proceed. This analysis prior to any behavior is crucial to review the possible negative or positive effects that what we will do may have on the emotional life of others and on our own.

4. Assertive communication

Respectful and assertive dialogue is another way to see emotional responsibility in action. Talking openly about what bothers us or worries us avoids the accumulation of resentments and misunderstandings that can hurt others. Assertiveness strengthens the relationship and allows you to address and resolve conflicts effectively.

5. Recognize and respect limits

Each person has their own emotional and psychological limits. Being emotionally responsible means recognizing and respecting these limits.without trying to force or pressure someone to act against their well-being.

How does it look emotional irresponsibility?

It takes different forms that are quite well known today with the rise of digital communication.. These are the ghostinghe zombieing or the gaslighting.

On the one hand, the ghosting It is about suddenly disappearing from the other person’s life without giving any explanation. He zombieing It represents the phenomenon of appearing again after having been absent for a long time. For his part, the gaslighting It consists of questioning the other person’s reality while making them believe something different.

Let’s look at other forms of lack of emotional responsibility that psychologist Desirée Llamas describes in her book Take good care of myself, love you better (2023):

Using comparison to persuade or harm. Imposing our interests, desires or tastes. Not respecting limits or breaking agreements.Invalidate the other person’s emotions.Not communicating changes that affect the relationship. Not being consistent with the decisions we make in the relationship. Holding others responsible for our problems and making excuses for that.Trying to get others to guess our needs or desires.

Let us remember that emotional responsibility must also occur within oneself. In this context, according to Desirée Llamas, we can also observe irresponsibility through several ways:

Avoid intimacy and be vulnerable. Try to “save” the other person from their problems.Prioritize the wants and needs of others.Allow everything because “there is trust” or because “it belongs to the family.” Continue in the same relationship because we have been in it for a long time.

How to be responsible with other people’s emotions

It is essential to adopt habits that reinforce appreciation and respect for the feelings of others. The ways in which both emotional responsibility and irresponsibility are expressed allow us to know how to act and how not to act, which will help us improve in this sense. In addition to those practices, let’s look at others.

Increase emotional intelligence: This type of intelligence consists of recognizing, understanding and managing our own emotions, as well as recognizing, understanding and influencing the emotions of others. By improving it, we can interact in a more empathetic, responsible and considerate way.Practice empathy: We must try to understand the other’s perspective, their thoughts, emotions and behaviors. Likewise, we have to imagine how we would feel if we were in his position.Seek feedback: Sometimes, we are not aware of how our actions affect others. Therefore, we should ask trusted people for feedback about how they perceive us and how our actions and words affect them.Practice active listening: This involves paying attention, not interrupting, and asking questions to make sure you understand what the other person is saying.Self-care: We cannot take care of the feelings of others if we do not take care of our own. Being in emotional balance will allow us to interact in a healthier and more conscious way. Avoid always being on the defensive: When someone talks to us about how our actions affected them, instead of becoming defensive, we should listen and understand their perspective. Accepting feedback and considering it is essential for our personal growth and for that person’s well-being.

Practicing these strategies will help us be more responsible in the emotional sphere. In addition, they will strengthen our relationships and generate an environment of respect and mutual care.

Affective understanding: a moral obligation in our relationships

There are unfortunate phenomena and moments in our relationships. However, it is true that our social system normalizes the pattern of neglect or not being emotional support. Thus, on the one hand, carelessness is naturalized; while, on the other, the same is done with abuse in a complementary way.

This leads us to consider the possibility that the cry for emotional responsibility is a call against domination. Despite social advances, there are certain relationships that are formed based on the expectation that one party provides care, attention and love and the other party tends toward inattention and debauchery.

Let’s remember that no one makes us happy, but rather whether we are happy or not in the first person. Also that progress is in dialogue and that the decision to give prominence to a vital event is ours. This is a message that must penetrate society to modify everything that legitimizes irresponsible behavior.

Conclusion

People need to feel heard and understood, so it is good to banish from our communication style phrases like “I don’t think it’s that big of a deal,” “you’re exaggerating,”«I’m like that and I don’t care how that affects you”, “you have to change your chip”.

We could continue listing these types of common and harmful phrases. However, it is enough to realize that, although almost all of us have used some of them throughout our history, It never hurts to review our repertoire, taking into account the importance of emotional responsibility..

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