9 psychological traits of the submissive personality

Those who have a submissive personality are characterized by abandoning what they really want to please other people. They willingly submit to the authority and domination of others, and tend to rely on the people around them to satisfy their own needs. This way of positioning themselves in the face of life events often makes them feel powerless and makes it difficult for them to make everyday decisions, as they feel incapable.

They build the meaning of their lives around dependence, giving their will to others.. The lack of self-confidence leads them to give up their own identity and desires in order to do something for someone. Submissive people do not try to obtain gratification by offering their lives to others, but rather to be accepted and loved.

In this article, we will see what are the psychological traits of the way of being and acting of those who have this type of personality.

What are submissive people like?

There are several psychological characteristics that define a submissive person. Next, we will highlight nine traits, according to the personality study of Millon and Davis (1998).

1. Incompetence

One of the main traits of submissive people is a lack of self-confidence. They tend to be collaborative, conformist and not very assertive. They avoid being the center of attention at all costs and are perceived by their network of friends as thoughtful, generous and flattering.

People around him are often impressed by his humility, cordiality, gentleness and delicacy. However, Behind this affability is a desire for acceptance and approval. This need is clearly observed when faced with stressful conditions, against which they appear defenseless.

The sentimental and sensitive disposition that characterizes them can lead them to be extremely conciliatory and to sacrifice excessively in their interpersonal relationships.

Submissive personalities have low self-confidence.

2. Helplessness

Submissive people learn to bond with others by merging their identity with them, denying their differences and avoiding expressions of power. By showing themselves as helpless and weak, they get the protection, care and affection they seek by submitting to the will of others.

Submissives perceive themselves as helpless and incapable, which is why they shift their responsibilities in favor of others. and they leave their own affairs in their hands. They believe that others are better prepared to face the challenges and difficulties that life presents them.

3. Naivety

Another trait of individuals with a submissive personality is their limited awareness of themselves and others. They are not very introspective in relation to the problems that surround them and tend to be naive and uncritical. Generally, they always see the good or pleasant things in things.

Naivety leads them to be simple, innocent and immature people. They believe what other people tell them so as not to enter into conflict with them, even if they feel treated unfairly.

4. Ineptitude

Submissive people see themselves as weak and fragile when they feel alone. They tend to undervalue their beliefs and achievements. When they compare themselves to others, they minimize their attributes and highlight their inferiority and defects.

This pattern of self-hatred can be understood as a strategy they employ to make others feel loved and valued. This helps them gain acceptance, since it places them in a superior position in which others feel flattered.

5. Immaturity

Another trait of submissive or dependent people is that their ideas tend to lack sophistication and be a bit childish. They continually feel driven to admire, love and have the will to give everything, since it is the only way they see to evoke the care and affection of others.

Due to their immaturity, most submissive personalities have learned that they are inferior and are capable of providing their “superiors” with a sense of usefulness, strength, understanding, and competence.

6. Introjection/negation

The helplessness and inability of submissives causes feelings of emptiness and fear of being alone. The defense mechanism they use to deal with these sensations is introjection. Through it they internalize the beliefs and values ​​of other people. By alienating themselves from the identity and competencies of other people, they avoid the anxiety caused by their own helplessness.

Denial is also another characteristic mechanism of subjects with a submissive personality. This is seen in the naivety of his thoughts. They always soften interpersonal discomfort and the stress it generates. The way of speaking they use is usually sweet and cloying, thereby hiding (or denying) any type of aggressiveness.

7. Introversion and shyness

Because submissive people repress their desires, feelings, and emotions to please others and gain their acceptance and protection, they often end up shy. They do this to avoid the conflicts that social relationships can generate.

8. Emotional dependence

By having a submissive personality, individuals They tend to look for a dominant person to give them responsibility. So much so that on many occasions being submissive in emotional dependence towards loved ones with more authority.

Emotional dependence prevents us from having freedom and being autonomous.

9. Lack of assertiveness

Submissive people do not talk about their points of view, their desires and needs. This makes it very difficult to know their motivations and what they want. But why don’t they share their interests? Because they believe that this way they can avoid any conflict that may arise from them. This shows a clear lack of assertiveness.

Finally, the state of these psychological dimensions, when it produces suffering, makes psychotherapeutic intervention necessary. This is the first step, and perhaps the most important, for the submissive person to begin to trust themselves and their abilities.. Likewise, you will learn to satisfy your own needs, to enjoy pleasure and the search for gratification without giving up your identity to please others.

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