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The 6 characteristics of lonely people

Do you enjoy solitude? Do you know someone who is not able to do it? People who accept, and even seek solitude, usually have very particular characteristics.

The human being is a social being by nature. Therefore, sometimes we can be surprised by those who prefer to spend their free time without speaking a word to others or away from others. Those who choose andstar alone. Now, why do some people prefer to be alone? As they are?

Certainly, “being alone” can have a great negative charge on our minds. We forget that “feeling alone” is not the same as “being alone.” . On the contrary, there are those who enjoy, very much, their moments of solitude; even being able to prioritize them over social alternatives.

For many people, solitude is a pleasure. They enjoy their own company. These tend to have higher self-esteem, are confident and thoughtful. Although we must not forget that each case is unique; In this article we will see some of the motivations that make some people seek solitude.

Being alone as a positive experience

People who choose to be alone without a reason for rejection or conflict with others know how to practice self-love.

In the year 2000, Expósito and Moya designed a study in which they verified that lonely people were evaluated negatively in the context of relationships. And, furthermore, this preconception is generalized to other areas of life that have nothing to do with the relational sphere.

But loneliness, and its experience in balance and acceptance, is a necessary requirement to relate to another human being in freedom. To forge a strong and healthy relationship, with ourselves and our environment.

It is of great importance to differentiate two types of lonely people:

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Those who are alone against their will: They are usually people who want to be loved and included, but were rejected instead. To a greater or lesser extent, they often make plans to avoid “empty” moments.“The True Loners”: that is, those who fully embrace and enjoy their time alone.

For the first type, loneliness will be a burden. On the contrary, For the true loners, Solitude is an emotional treasure. Those who do not experience loneliness from the perspective of emptiness or absence, but rather of fullness. These are people who feel the creativity, excitement, freedom and confidence of being with themselves.

We understand that loneliness is a core part of the maturity process. Conquering loneliness is the result of unconditional love for oneself. Those who have difficulty being alone are likely to have a self-esteem based on relationships and the need to belong.

Characteristics of those who prefer to be alone

Next, we will point out the main characteristics of people who choose solitude:

1. Moment of personal search

People who prefer to be alone may be going through a moment of change and internal search; developing new habits and trying to make profound changes in their lives away from the influence of others. They want to distance themselves to gain perspective.

2. They know the value of time

People who prefer to be alone tend to be skilled at establishing priorities because they have more space for desires and less for needs (by having more coverage).

They have no problem prioritizing their interests when they think it is necessary, just as they do not have it when it comes to making their resources available to others if they can afford it. They do it so that they are better; They don’t do it to gain your favor or sympathy.

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3. They experience all kinds of emotions

Although throughout this article we focus on people who are alone by choice, it is good to clarify that it is not synonymous with “being happy.” In fact, in many cases, the sadness It is what motivates the person to move away . Although this is common, it will not be healthy for the person themselves when this loneliness lasts for a long time.

4. They are not afraid of rejection

They are people who trust in their abilities, which leads them to depend less and be less sensitive to the evaluations of others. In addition, they tend to be more demanding with the people in their social circles.

Besides, to know that they can be happy alone they choose without pressure those they want by their side. This is why they are not afraid of being rejected.

5. They enjoy their own company

Let us not forget that there are also people who, when they think about themselves, describe themselves as “lonely.” They understand that “being alone” does not make them “feel alone.” They are people who need time in their daily lives to be alone and calm. They can be defined as creative and ambitious, they really enjoy their own company.

6. They feel hurt

Many times, those who have accumulated a certain amount of negative experiences can become withdrawn into themselves. In these cases, loneliness usually works as a protection mechanism in which “being alone is better.” The important thing is to know that this tool will serve for a while. AND In excess, nothing is healthy.

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Are you a lonely person?

Whoever knows how to be alone is more empathetic and flexible, has an open mind and is able to take other points of view into account.

If you have doubts about which group you may belong to, you can reflect on whether you identify with these statements:

When I’m alone I feel relaxed.I like to be completely alone.

Or, perhaps with these:

I feel uncomfortable when I am alone.Being alone becomes too much for me.

Finally, people who are comfortable in solitude They tend to be more empathetic; They feel that they have fewer shortcomings in their inner world, and that, therefore, they can dedicate more attention and care to others. Not all personal relationships are happy and satisfying.

Those who reach the state of enjoying periods of solitude are those who have given themselves the opportunity to experience experiences that break with those limiting beliefs. These traits make them tend to be open-minded people, respectful of different points of view, capable of reconciling and recognizing their own desires and tastes.

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All cited sources were reviewed in depth by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, validity and validity. The bibliography in this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

Exposito, F., & Moya, M. (2000). Perception of loneliness. Psychothema, 12(Issue 4), 579-585. Recovered from https://reunido.uniovi.es/index.php/PST/article/view/7764Soler, J. & Conanglia, M. (2015). Together but not tied. The emotionally ecological couple. Amat Publishing. Digital ISBN: 978-84-9735-716-6Badberry, T., and Greaves, J. (2020). Emotional intelligence 2.0 strategies to know and increase your coefficient.

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