9 keys to learn to value yourself

Surely you have heard thousands of times it is necessary to learn to value yourself. If the circumstances of your life have been favorable, you probably have no problem either giving yourself that value or understanding how this manifests itself in practice. But if, on the other hand, you have gone through experiences that have made you doubt your worth, perhaps you don’t know what to do to reverse this.

Learning to value yourself means finding the way to see, assimilate and incorporate the idea that you are a human being who deserves as much as anyone else. That you are not below anyone, in terms of value, and that you are as capable as anyone else of achieving what you set out to do. Likewise, you do not need mechanisms and strategies to hide, defend yourself or confront others to protect your worth.

It is not easy to move from self-esteem poor to a strong one. It takes time, effort and patience. The good thing is that it can be achieved. What it is about is repairing some aspects so that the lack of self-worth does not hinder our life, so here are some keys to learn to value yourself more. Do not miss it.

1. Be yourself: a key to learning to value yourself

The phrase “be yourself” is nothing original, because how is it achieved? How can we connect with our interior to show ourselves as we are? What we are looking for is not to give you a magic formula, nor to deceive you by creating false optimism. Actually, being yourself is not easy especially when you have had experiences in which the only way to survive has been precisely to stop being yourself.. Very restrictive environments seek that: to break our will to be.

When, for example, you have grown up or spent a long time in an environment that is excessively critical, it is not easy to cultivate self-confidence. Nor, of course, learn to value yourself. Quite the opposite. What you have in your head is that what you are is worthless or worth little. That is why it must be denied or minimized.

The only way to start being yourself is to let yourself be. In other words: it helps a lot to stop thinking both before acting. You already have the chip installed that tells you: “wait, don’t do” or “wait, don’t talk.” So the best thing to do is not to listen to that little voice. Take the risk of doing things without thinking so much. To speak, letting everything flow as it arrives. Start with non-committal situations and move forward. Nothing is achieved if you are not constant in this.

Being oneself also goes through the process of self-acceptance, the full and sincere recognition of our virtues, our defects, our particularities. Learning to accept ourselves as we are will make it easier for us to take the initiative, be more spontaneous and, above all, treat ourselves in kinder and more loving ways.

2. Face your fears, especially the fear of failure

Failure is an oversized concept, especially among those who do not know how to learn to value themselves.. If we look closely, all human beings count mistakes in the thousands and can only boast of a few transcendental successes.

Error and failure are our daily bread. There is so much obsession with success today that many end up developing a panic in the face of failure. They forget that only in exceptional and very rare ways, a great triumph is not preceded by countless failed attempts.

If you allow yourself to be invaded by fear, especially the fear of failure, it is impossible to learn to value yourself.. When one should highlight his greatest virtues it is precisely in failure, not in moments of success.

We must start thinking about failure as an opportunity to learn. What have we failed in? Why has it turned out better? What can we improve? So that, The well-integrated concept of failure carries the other side of the coin, that of learning. The famous formula of trial and error thanks to which science and knowledge advance.

Overcoming your fears will help you see your full potential, get out of your comfort zone, and take risks. and surprise you with all the things that can happen when you leave your ties behind.

3. Accept limits, without complaints

There is nothing better to learn to value yourself than to be humble. Humility is not about bowing your head in the face of everything, but about understanding the vulnerability of the human condition.. Also accept that we are part of that humanity, full of errors, shortcomings and voids. If we have strong self-love, this does not scare us, nor does it make us feel inferior.

Personal limits and the limits imposed by reality exist. Nobody escapes them. Denying these or the difficulties that always appear in achieving our goals is an attitude that reflects exaggerated narcissism. Why would reality give us a special place in its plans so that we have the easy path to achieve what we want?

That narcissism is not overvaluing oneself. Rather, it is valuing yourself falsely. Narcissism is looking at yourself from the outside and wanting to admire what you see. Self-love is validating from within, everything we are. The best facets and the others too. It is not related to how one looks from the outside, but how one feels from the inside.

Learning to value yourself is a task that we should all undertake. It is not a slogan that is fashionable. Much of our well-being comes from that feeling of self-approval. If self-assessment fails, it is time to stop and redirect the path.

4. Take care of your body

Physical and mental health are closely related. Diet, sleep, and regular exercise will keep you in a good mood, which in turn makes it easier for you to form good opinions of yourself. Taking care of yourself is essential to have good cognitive and emotional functioning.

5. Work on your projects

It doesn’t matter if you are going to present them to the world or they are just for you. It doesn’t matter if they come to fruition or fail. Working on something that comes from your mind forces you to be active, to strengthen your mind and to know yourself better. You will learn about your defects and your virtues.

6. Learn not to sabotage yourself

Many times, the behaviors that lead us to failure are voluntary, but also unconscious. Paying too much attention to one’s own failures, taking efforts for failure or simple pessimism often hinders the will to solve problems and achieve goals.

Therefore, spend time each day identifying those thoughts and replacing them with messages of support for yourself and your achievements. It is a long road, but do not doubt that the result is useful and validating.

7. Surround yourself with people who value you.

Learning to value oneself does not depend solely on oneself, although it is an action that must come from within the subject and not from others. Still, the effect of others on self-esteem cannot be denied.

8. Beware of jealousy

Comparison with others (and especially when there are social networks involved) is one of the activities that can destroy self-esteem the most. There will always be someone who does it better than you, so focus on yourself and not on others. This is how true achievements are achieved.

9. Go to therapy

The help of a professional can become essential when self-esteem problems prevent normal activity, interfere with happiness or the achievement of goals. Therefore, never hesitate to go to a consultation, because there they will provide you with resources to learn to value yourself.

Peel the onion

When we peel an onion two things happen: we never know which layer to remove and we also “cry.” The external conditions that we have received throughout our lives are those layers of onion that we are removing. “You’re not going to get it”, “I don’t think you’re good enough to study what you want”, “you’ll never become a good professional”… Statements that we have heard since we were little and we install them in our minds and take them as true.

As we move away from these conditioning we go deeper into our authentic self and we realize that our own undervaluation is learned. We open our eyes to something we had not seen until now. However, this is not always easy. It depends on the person. There are those who feel a great liberation. Others must travel a path full of ups and downs and are not exempt from suffering and crying.

Therefore, to learn to value ourselves it is essential to free ourselves from the unconscious labels that have been imposed on us for so many years. Labels we have come to believe. We have identified with them so much that we have acted accordingly, limiting our potential. Let’s leave all our limitations behind and start seeing who we really are.

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