7 signs that you are “biromantic”

The universe of affection is multifaceted, immense and full of wonderful nuances. So much so that Our ability to feel romantically attracted to others may even differ from our own sexual orientation.. An example of this is being “biromantic”, that is, feeling affection and emotional attraction for people of multiple genders: heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, non-binary.

This opens up another psychoaffective narrative, in which attraction excludes the variable of sexual desire. But that doesn’t make the feelings any less deep, enriching and authentic.

Something like this, as we can well deduce, causes more than one personal challenge and relational misunderstanding. Let’s delve a little deeper into this topic, to clarify concepts and offer strategies.

Being “biromantic”: what it is and what its characteristics are

“Biromanticism” is a new term that defines a psychoaffective behavior that has always existed in the field of human relationships. However, having this type of labels allows us to name a characteristic with which many people identify. In fact, it is common for many users to search on the Internet about this concept.

Being “biromantic” consists of feeling a very intense emotional connection for someone, regardless of their gender and without experiencing sexual desire.. Is this possible? If there is a traditional and often biased idea, it is to assume that romantic attraction and sexual desire always go hand in hand.

But scientific literature increasingly clarifies this distinction and the possibility of experiencing such areas separately.

A study published in Psychological Science highlights that Romantic love and sexual desire are different experiences that demonstrate different neurobiological substrates.. There is nothing like neuroscience to give us light in a universe as complex as emotional and sexual relationships. Let’s see, next, what are the signs that someone is “biromantic.”

1. You like someone, but not in a sexual way

A person “biromantic” feels an intense attraction for someone, but does not experience sexual desire for that figure. The bond is only mental, emotional and affective; regardless of gender. This makes one have their own defined sexual identity and, at times, experience that special and captivating closeness towards others of a different gender and sexual inclination.

2. There is intense emotional affinity, but not physical

“Biromantics” have the ability to see the most beautiful things in human beings; beyond sex and gender. In general, Relationships are built where the emotional and intellectual affinity is very intense. There is a harmony in values, tastes and passions and, although it does not reach the physical level; There is also an admiration for the other person’s appearance.

Since this sexual attraction does not exist, they are bonds dominated by serotonin and, above all, by oxytocin. Work such as those carried out at Waseda University, in Japan, report that this hormone promotes that social and emotional connection that is so relevant in human beings.

3. Your fantasies with these people do not reach the sexual level

As a “biromantic” you fantasize about that person you are attracted to. Nevertheless, These dreams do not reach the physical or sexual level; They are scenes dominated by company, by complicity, affection and mutual care. It is a love based on admiration, on a deep connection that transcends the physical.

4. You often consider having more than one relationship

You know that many people around you would not understand it. However, Sometimes you consider the possibility of opening yourself up to polyamory. You think that it would be very enriching to have that partner with whom there is an emotional and sexual harmony and, furthermore, that person who attracts you only romantically.

5. If you have a partner, your feelings for them do not change

This is perhaps the most controversial and problematic aspect. Being “biromantic” can cause you to have your partner, but feel romantic attraction to other people. Despite this, the feelings of love and sexual desire for the man or woman with whom you share life and projects do not vary. They are solid and authentic.

You may find yourself in situations in which your partner expresses discomfort, suspicion, and even jealousy over your romantic orientation. You may process it as a threat to the bond itself.

6. Sometimes you feel lost or confused

A common effect of “biromanticism” is that you doubt your sexual identity. This can cause feelings of confusion, intimidation, and even shame to arise many times throughout your life. It is common that on more than one occasion you ask yourself questions like the following:

“Is this what I feel really love?” “Why do I like this person, but I don’t desire them sexually?” “If I have these feelings for someone of the same sex, does that mean that another sexual orientation defines me?” ?».

Clarifying one’s own sexual identity may not be easy for some people. Research such as those published in the journal Frontiers in Psychology comment, for example, that sexual minorities such as collectives queer, pansexual and LGTB+ still carry with them numerous stigmas.

Identifying as “biromantic” is also part of that self-discovery; understanding and accepting it may entail some difficulty.

7. It has taken you a long time to know what it means to be biromantic

You have spent hours searching on the Internet and in specialized forums. You didn’t know this term, but you sensed that more people could feel this romantic orientation. In the end, when you manage to identify and clarify this pattern, you feel relief, but also curiosity. What you want most now is to meet other “biromantics” to lean on.

Being biromantic: general tips for having quality relationships

Affectivity has many forms and languages. Keeping in mind that a person’s romantic orientation does not coincide with their sexual orientation is also necessary. It allows us to understand, once again, the complexity of the mechanisms of attraction and how the variable of sex does not have to be present.

Now, it is evident that “Biromanticism” is not easy, to the point that more than one chooses to hide and repress this tendency; with the suffering that can entail. It is also common that it is not easy to maintain a sexual-affective relationship, while there is, in parallel, a “biromantic” bond. What to do in these situations? We analyze it right away.

To have healthy and happy relationships it is necessary to agree on limits and agreements. Understand that many of your partners will not understand what it means to be “biromantic”. Keep in mind that your life will be defined by sexual relationships and non-sexual romantic relationships. Celebrate your romantic orientation without fear. growing as a couple, taking on common challenges and respecting mutual needs.Make contact with groups of “biromantics”, online organizations and groups through which to learn, clear up doubts, quench fears and insecurities.It is important that you always inform your potential partners (romantic or sexually affectionate) that you are “biromantic” and what it entails..Sincere communication will be that cornerstone that defines each of your relationships. Studies such as those published in Frontiers in Psychology specify that every positive and enriching relationship always starts from this dimension.

Self-acceptance and «biromanticism»

Your romantic orientation cannot be hidden or repressed, therefore, you must combine self-knowledge with self-acceptance. That will always be the best starting point.

To conclude, romantic and sexual orientations are very personal and can vary between us. Let’s respect them and get to know each other better. Sometimes labels like “biromantic” allow us to name what we feel and, as such, are always necessary and welcome.

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