7 characteristics of assertive people

Assertive people are not just born but they are also made. Of course there are conditions in which the development of certain virtues or skills is more facilitated, but ultimately we all have to work to evolve towards ways of being and acting that are more accurate and constructive.

Assertiveness could be defined as the ability to relate to others in a sincere and edifying way, thus constituting a bridge for interpersonal trust. It could also be said that it is an attitude towards oneself and others that leads to maintaining a balance between rights and duties, while taking care of mutual respect.

It is much easier to theorize than to put it into practice. Assertive people are the fruit of different processes and efforts that come together to achieve that attitude. Finally, all this is part of that long path that leads us to learn to live. It is worth examining what those characteristics are that make us assertive. 7 of them are presented below.

1. Assertive people know what respect is

The word respect is defined as that capacity to give value and treat something or someone with consideration. Assertive people develop that capacity. They apply it to themselves and especially to things external to them, whether they are people, ideas, works or even animals.

Respect manifests itself in the first instance as a renunciation of violence. The abuse is not an option under any circumstances. If there is contradiction or conflict, assertive people process it from self-respect and respect for others. This often translates into an effort to preserve both one’s own dignity and that of others.

This attitude of respect is also manifested in the world of concepts, ideas and ideologies. The field of beliefs and convictions is not diminished, even if it is not shared. Someone assertive understands that In all human beings and in their works there is value that cannot be overlooked.

2. They relate sincerely with others

Assertive people give importance to good relationships with others. They understand that these cannot be built on falsehood or hypocrisy. That’s why they show themselves as they are, because they want others to know what they can expect from them.

They try not to put themselves in uncomfortable long-term positions, such as condescension. If they disagree with something, they say it directly. They do not sacrifice their identity to avoid contradictions. For this reason, they choose their friends carefully. If it doesn’t come from their heart to give someone their friendship, they won’t do it. They are not moved by convenience, but by convictions.

3. They know themselves, accept and appreciate themselves

Assertive people have self-confidence, but this is not born from a feeling of sufficiency or a perception of superiority.. If they trust who they are it is because they know each other; and if they know each other it is because they observe each other, evaluate each other and learn to have a constructive internal dialogue. This means that they are assumed to be people with rights and errors.

Self-knowledge leads to understanding. This in turn leads to acceptance and self-love.. Assertiveness is precisely about having enough humility to know oneself as human and, therefore, imperfect. A “feeling of imperfection” from which emanates the will and motivation to grow, to improve and to achieve in many areas.

4. They have self-control and emotional stability

Assertive people manage to build mechanisms to regulate their emotions. That is why the attitude that predominates in them is that of serenity. They understand that we all feel and that emotions need to be processed. It’s not that they don’t feel anger, or anguish, or pain. They have simply learned that letting go of all control at the helm of their lives leads to the wrong expression of these emotions that have so much energy.

They also apply this principle to others. This means that they know how to understand the feelings of others and seek to put them in a state of tranquility as well. Those who are assertive do not add fuel to the fire or seek to manipulate others by looking for their “faults” or weaknesses. They help others regain their center so that no situation completely escapes their control..

5. They cultivate their communication skills

Many problems arise from poor communication. Likewise, many difficulties are resolved in the field of communication and dialogue.. What makes the exchange of opinions so complex is that many times the tools to do so are not used appropriately. There is a lack of sincerity, the true intention to reach an understanding or there is simply no clarity about what is meant or there are doubts about what is the best way to express it.

Self-knowledge and reflection allow communication skills to develop as well. This supposes the ability to express, clearly, simply and sincerely, what is inside. But it also implies being able to listen. actively what the other has to say. The truth is that assertive people know the value of communication and are willing to invest resources to improve their way of communicating.

6. They know how to set limits

You can’t always have excellent relationships with others. Reality puts us in front of people who tend to abuse or who harbor within themselves the desire to do harm, in a kind of resentment with life. This generates tensions against which assertive people know how to say “enough.” They understand that Everything has a limit and there are situations that require clearly demarcating it..

Likewise, you cannot always please the expectations or desires of others. This eventually gives rise to guilt that sometimes invites us to go over ourselves. When developing assertiveness this does not happen: You can say “no” without the refusal generating internal discomfort..

7. They are emotionally independent

Those who are assertive also become able to tolerate and assimilate the rejection or indifference of others.. They do not act based on the approval of others, but to be consistent with their beliefs, convictions and needs. Like everyone else, assertive people prefer to be recognized by others. However, if this does not happen, they will not be tempted to act against their own conscience.

All these features are unstable and unfinished; That is to say, if we have it, we will not see the aspiration of finding people who are assertive in all their actions and words fulfilled. Nothing in humanity is complete, in every dimension we have room for growth and to take advantage of it it is enough to try, more and more, better and better.

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