5 ways to make friends as an adult –

Adult life is not simple, even more so when you feel like you don’t have a group of friends to help you. deal with difficulties or to celebrate the joys. But it seems that “after growing up” it becomes very difficult to make friends. How to deal with adult life without friends? Or better…

How to make friends as an adult?

in times of coronavirus pandemic, with social distancing recommendations still in effect in much of the world (including Brazil), it is possible to notice a curious movement: many people used social media to comment on how they “lost” friendships during the pandemic or how they found out who their friends are. your true friends. And for those who perceive themselves as having a very tight circle of friends, it may seem complex to feel successful in their relationships. So, the question remains: how to increase this circle and create new friendships (which are worth keeping) after an adult?

1. Take an “inventory” of your current friendships

Before meeting new people, you need to know if there is room in your life for them. What does that mean? Review your current friendships and even your routine and try to understand if there is room for a new person. It is important to remember that a relationship, regardless of its nature, requires dedication and time, and if you realize that you don’t have an agenda for that now, the main thing would be to invest in the friendships you already have instead of looking for new ones. In the same way, we often keep people around for convenience, because it is comfortable, and these relationships do not necessarily add. Is it really important to keep that person around or is it time to let them go their way so that you can also follow yours?

2. Invest in your hobbies

Maybe it’s not the time to participate in big events yet, but you can invest in your hobbies to even find like-minded people with what you like. If you’re the running type, how about looking for a running group in your neighborhood? If you love to read, maybe find a book club to join, even if it’s online. If you like to cook, have you thought about taking some cooking classes? The point here is to find environments you like to make new connections there based on a common ground – an automatic conversational icebreaker!

3. Take an interest in your co-workers

Who says a co-worker can’t be a friend? Studies indicate that maintaining friendships at work brings numerous benefits and you certainly work with people. When in doubt where to start, invest your energies in your colleagues – the connection, in these cases, already exists, it just needs to be strengthened.

4.Use mobile apps

Not just romantic dates live mobile apps. There are many others that also work with the aim of generating new friendships. Bumble, for example, has a function to make friends, and Slowly has a different proposal: in times of instant messaging and immediate responses, it aims to generate deep conversations between people, so that even messages and replies take longer. time to reach the receiver or recipient.

5. Look for quality, not quantity

When we were teenagers or kids, it was easy to keep a big group of friends, a “guy” with whom you had afternoons playing or going to the movies at the mall. In adulthood, this is not only more complex, but not necessarily satisfying: maintaining many friendships takes time, and this does not mean that they will be really deep and meaningful. That is, more than a circle of friendships with many people, look for a circle of meaningful friendships with a number of people that you can manage. A Dr. Miriam Kirmayer, a relationship psychologist, told The Cut that we’re all too busy to fully dedicate ourselves to every connection we make. Better to reserve that energy for the people we make a point of keeping in our lives.

What’s more: be patient

Making friends may not be the same as finding a romantic partner, but the two pursuits have something in common: the need for patience and trial and error. People are not always going to notice your invitations or your interactions right away, so also know when to leave that connection aside to look for other people to talk to and relate to. If someone turns down a coffee invitation three times, for example, it’s time to move on.

according to Dr. Marisa Franco, a psychologist specializing in friendships, told the American Women’s Health, you also need to respect your limits and those imposed by others. For example, one way to strengthen and expand your circle of friends is to seek out group experiences. You can invite two friends over for an afternoon at the park and tell them that they, in turn, can bring other people. But they may prefer to keep friendships “separate” – or reserved for their specific contexts – and this is not a reason for frustration, just for understanding.