5 ways to get off the defensive and have new experiences

Have you ever had those moments when the urge to do something made you extremely happy, but thinking about the possible reaction of other people made you give up? The situation is common and most of the time we don’t allow ourselves for fear of being exposed, which increases the chances of getting hurt. So we are on the defensive.

But while it’s safer to live by keeping everything that goes on inside our minds – and exposing who we really are only to people we trust – this ends up leading to the loss of many opportunities to try new things.

If you are thinking about breaking that barrier and want to live new experiences, here are five tips to do that and finally start living the life you always knew you should have.

1. Start slow and take your time

You don’t have to throw everything you feel and want at once. Go step by step until you feel 100% comfortable opening up. For some, it’s easier to share what they’re thinking and feeling, while for others it can take a little longer – and that’s okay. To get started, post pictures and stories about yourself on social media, tell people you trust about your deepest fears, write yourself a letter outlining ways to be more open, and take the necessary steps to get there. And whatever you decide to do, trust the process and don’t give up even if it takes longer.

2. Believe that you are worthy of sharing your story

We are always looking to other people for stories that make us feel connected to them. This provides a certain comfort, as it shows things that may never have been exposed. But if you don’t believe your stories, dreams and passions are worthy of being released into the world, then you are holding yourself back from connecting with others and even providing comfort to someone who needs to hear your thoughts, failures and aspirations. When you believe that you are worthy of opening up, even if it makes you vulnerable, you allow yourself to step out of your comfort zone even when you don’t feel in control – because sometimes those fragile moments are what make us grow and this is how we learn to adapt to life’s most disturbing moments.

3. Know your weaknesses

When you’re about to try something out of your comfort zone, it’s normal to have a few moments of relapse. And knowing how to deal with it is important. You can tell yourself a story that only you believe, and you can even feel sorry for yourself because you didn’t get to do what you wanted. It happens to everyone. But to overcome these moments, it is necessary to understand what is triggering these situations. Are you holding back because you’re afraid of what the other person will think? Are you afraid of failing? Whatever the reason, find out what it is so you can begin that internal dialogue and begin the process of getting comfortable with the feeling of discomfort.

4. Surround yourself with people who support you

In the beginning, it is natural that there is a fear of connecting with others or sharing your perspectives and plans with those who are not part of your social circle. So start by opening up with people you know who will support you and your ideas. Tell them something you’re afraid to express, a dream you’re afraid to pursue, or a thought you just can’t contain. They will give you the unconditional love you are looking for, which will generate a boost of confidence so that you can then express yourself to others who may not know you.

5. Allow yourself to be uncomfortable with bad results

Even when there is the courage to act, there may be times when what you do or say will not be well received by others. If you feel like hiding and running away, fine. Learn to feel uncomfortable with these situations, allow yourself to live those feelings. By doing this you are giving yourself the control to face your emotions and anxieties head on.

With these small attitudes can come big changes in personal and professional life. The most important thing is to know yourself, respect your own time of action, but don’t stop trying.