Happy couples know that in order for a relationship to be thriving and for both of you to be happy, you have to work hard. If they don’t, they can fall into the trap of a lazy relationship, which simply exists and doesn’t evolve or thrive.

To learn how to solve problems instead of hiding them “under the rug,” psychologist Yaroslav Samoylov suggests occasionally asking your partner these questions. If you have a fear or aversion to the famous ‘DRs’ (relationship discussions) understand that sometimes it’s good to talk. And if you do it the right way, dating or marriage is a win-win.

1- Can I make our relationship more pleasant?

This question can directly touch your partner’s soul and help them discuss their desires. A simple, gentle attitude, like a kiss in the morning, can fill you both with good energy throughout the day. Try to listen to your partner’s wishes and you will find that your relationship will become even stronger and more stable as you help the other.

2- Did I accidentally do something that you didn’t like?

Many people prefer to turn a blind eye to negative details to avoid exacerbating a difficult situation. But problems accumulate and, at some point, there will be so many that an explosion of negative emotions can occur.

The best solution to this would be to talk about all the problems that have built up before it’s too late. It may not be easy, but it is necessary to speak openly: listen carefully and ask for forgiveness if you feel any guilt.

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3- Are you satisfied with our sex life?

It’s a very important issue! Many couples feel ashamed to talk about it and don’t know where to start, but they should do it: if there are accumulated problems or unresolved issues in their sex life, sooner or later they will be brought to light and will be reflected in the relationship.

Perhaps this issue should be handled more delicately and, when asking your partner what they would like to change, also propose solutions. Remember that these conversations will take your relationship to a new level.

4- How can I help you?

In a strong relationship, it is common to be happy with victories and overcome defeats together. Don’t be afraid to ask what’s bothering your partner, listen to them and don’t be shy about sharing what’s bothering you. Perhaps together they can find a solution to this situation or at least show support. Questions like, “How can I help you with your work?” add depth to the relationship.

5- Do you believe that we are close enough?

Our individual needs may vary from day to day. It could be that your partner has had a rough week at work and needs your support and love more than ever. Or, on the contrary, your career is going well and you need to dedicate even more time to be able to grow, so you need to focus more and isolate yourself a little bit.

When the two learn to lean on each other and talk honestly about their concerns, the relationship will become deeper and there will be more trust.