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5 keys to dedicate quality time to your partner

Shared quality time is essential for the couple’s bond to remain solid and satisfactory. We show you some tips to implement it in your relationship.

Written and verified by the psychologist Elena Sanz.

If we want our emotional ties to prosper, it is important to cultivate them daily, take care of them and invest in making the other party feel cared for, seen and loved. These purposes are achieved in different ways, but moments together are, without a doubt, one of the keys. Therefore, we want to give you some tips to dedicate quality time to your partner.

Although it may seem like a simple task, we do not always attend to it properly. In fact, according to a study published in the Journal of family psychology, The amount of time shared is one of the main aspects that couples want to change in their relationship.

The above includes aspects such as spending time together, paying mutual attention and generating interesting conversations. What other ways are there to achieve this goal? Why is it so important to do so? We explore the answer, below.

Why dedicate quality time to your partner?

When we establish a romantic bond, the desire to be with the other person and cultivate emotional closeness are natural impulses. In fact, following Sternberg’s (1986) triangular theory of love, Timeshare links directly to two of its main components: passion and intimacy.

Quality time combines simple physical closeness and mutual company with deeper aspects such as self-disclosure (sharing important information about oneself) and increased trust.

Besides, This element is associated with well-being as a couple. According to a study published in Contemporary family therapy, couples who spend more time together talking and sharing activities report greater satisfaction with the relationship, perceive more positive qualities in their bond, and experience great closeness with their romantic partner.

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For this reason, this is a positive and necessary task in all relationships, but It is especially relevant in those in which one or both members have quality time as their main love language. That is, those who express their affection and feel loved by sharing moments, space and experiences with others.

Keys to dedicate quality time to your partner

Don’t know where to start? Gary Chapman, in his book The 5 love languages, offers us some keys that will help you dedicate quality time to your partner.

1. Offer your full attention

Quality time isn’t just about sharing a space with another person. We should not make the mistake of assuming that those who have this love language want us to dedicate all our time to them or will feel comfortable if we spend a certain number of hours together, because What they really want is connection and quality.

This means giving your full attention to the other person during those shared times, get involved with your five senses and, ultimately, offer your energy.

To achieve this, turn off the television and put the phone aside when you are with your partner, establish eye contact, listen and Get involved in that moment together without having your attention divided by other tasks or thoughts.

2. Do activities together

One of the best strategies is do activities together that you know the other person likes and wants to share with you. For example, join in to try one of their hobbies, Attend that concert or recital you love or take a walk in nature.

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Also invite him to share your hobbies and let him or her share your hobbies and interests. In reality, in this case, love is expressed not so much in the activity but in the purpose with which it is carried out: sharing significant moments and creating memories that will last.

3. Learn to listen

A person with this love language feels loved when their partner knows how to listen to them. And let’s remember that listening is not the same as hearing. In the first case, you have to commit to paying attention to what the other person tells you without being distracted by your own affairs, shows genuine interest in knowing more, asking relevant questions or trying to understand how you feel.

Remember that what the other person is looking for is not so much your advice or your opinion, but rather knowing that you are there for them, that they can express what is happening to them and how they feel, and that the relationship is a safe place to do so. Seek, above all, understanding and validation.

4. Practice self-disclosure

Now, it is equally important to know how to communicate and express yourself. And time becomes quality when we use it to generate emotional closeness and make the other person participate in our internal world. Your partner wants to know how you feel, what you experienced during your day, what worries you or what you expect from the relationship.

When you choose to share that intimate feeling, you create connection and make the other person feel loved and involved with you. This exercise is not easy for everyone, since many times we ourselves are not in contact with our emotions; However, we can practice and this will become a habit.

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5. Have initiative

Finally, you should know that if your partner has this love language, he will value very positively that you have initiative when it comes to sharing moments. That is, do not limit yourself to accepting their proposals, but also offer alternatives, suggestions or plans.

In this way, not only is it possible to get out of the routine, but you show your partner that you also value and want that quality time and you commit to finding it or building it.

Start spending quality time with your partner

Dedicating time to the person you love is complicated, sometimes, because we all have personal, work and family obligations. In fact, as an article published in the Review of Economics of the Household suggests, it is particularly difficult for couples with children to synchronize their schedules and find joint spaces.

However, shared time is essential for union and cohesion; it even acts as a protective factor against the effects of external stress (Milek, 2015). Therefore, if you feel that you do not have enough quality experiences with your partner, Do not hesitate to communicate this need.

If you express it in an assertive way, it will be easier for both of you to get involved in the changes and improve the levels of individual and couple satisfaction.

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