4 steps to deal with a chatterbox

Speaking, communicating using voice and words, gives us practically infinite communication possibilities. According to historian Yuval Harari, the ability to tell ourselves stories, to put abstract and complex ideas and concepts into speech, is an evolutionary milestone that at the time considerably improved our ability to adapt. Yeah, but what about the chatterboxes?

One of the problems is that There are certain people who abuse their communication skills and tend to talk too much., forgetting that dialogues are exchanges. Thus, in this article you will find some steps to deal with these types of people and prevent them from monopolizing the conversation.

How to deal with a chatterbox: dialogue vs. monologue

To begin with, it is important to note that a chatterbox is not necessarily a bad person. Although in some cases they may be egocentric and narcissistic people, Many times talkative people are not aware of their bad habit.

These may be people who are trying to hide their insecurity or shyness or who spend a lot of time alone and take advantage of any social interaction to let off steam. There are even those who talk too much to ignore their own feelings and not connect with themselves and their emotions.

Of course, There are those who feel that their opinions are more valid and founded and it does not occur to them that they are boring others. They also believe that they are more interesting, fun and intelligent, so they monopolize every conversation and forget a vital detail: effective communication is always two-way.

At first they may seem like nice, outgoing and charming people, but after interacting with a chatterbox for a while you can end up feeling really alone and exhausted. Next, we will present a series of useful steps for these situations.

1. Listen, with a practical purpose…

First of all, listen to what he is trying to tell you and try to identify what he expects from you with his speech: Is it possible that you want acceptance, complicity, respect? Do you want to arouse my envy or jealousy? Do you want to share with me an idea that you can’t get out of your head? Do you need to be heard about some problem you are going through?

That is to say, use empathy and try to recognize the other’s motivations. If you believe that it is worth listening to him and that you will be doing something good for him, there is nothing wrong with allowing him to express his ideas and feelings. If, on the other hand, the conversation is banal, you can continue with the next step.

Remember that, depending on the situation, we can all have days when we are more communicative and monopolizing the conversation.

2. Break the monologue

After understanding what they are looking to communicate to you, it is worth try to make small interruptions or start talking when the person pauses. Whether through clear and direct comments to make him see that he is talking too much or responses about what he is telling you, it is important that you make him feel that you are in a conversation and that he cannot monopolize the topic.

If the topic is interesting, you can take up an idea and complement it; You can show him that you agree with his point of view or that you disagree with some of his opinions. If the topic is not relevant to you, you can go to the next step.

3. Redirect the talk

The assertiveness It is a transversal skill that can also help us in this type of interactions. First, you can try to redirect the conversation; share with the other that you want to be heard and please refrain from interrupting you.

You can also be attentive to the other’s attempts not to give up control of the conversation to redirect it to the main topic. To do this, you can use phrases such as “returning to our topic” or “returning to what we were talking about.”

You can let him know that you are bored or that his monologue is not interesting. Looking at the clock, yawning, or checking your phone can be some options, although it would really be much more valuable to you and the other person if you could express your discontent clearly and affectionately.

Finally, Try not to feign interest in the topic or investigate more than necessary, With this you will only be encouraging him to talk more.

If this step did not work for you, the last one may be the definitive solution.

4. End the “conversation” assertively

Finally, using our assertiveness, we can end the conversation by telling the chatterbox that we don’t have any more time or that we should get back to our work. Remember that You have the right to set limits and manage your time.

Of course, avoid offending the other person, but let them know that their way of communicating is not pleasant. If the person doesn’t change, you may need to restrict their ability to talk to you. A chatterbox is always more bearable in small doses and, above all, at times when you do not need to be heard.

You might be interested…