11 techniques to avoid abuse

Abuse is something that is still present in various forms in our daily lives. Perhaps it is your partner, your parents, a friend or a co-worker who is not able to deal with you without mistreating you.

However, this is something that you can avoid, sinceAbusers usually choose those who are “weaker”, more insecure and who do not know how to respond to them. as they deserve to a situation that is beyond their control.

Do you want to respond or react to this abusive situation? Do you want to end it, but are you afraid? Don’t submit, don’t accept what you don’t wantToday is the day to avoid abuse.

1. Answer correctly

An appropriate response can prevent that person from continuing to mistreat us., but how can we do this? We don’t always have the necessary courage, but you need to draw strength from wherever and know how to respond.

Answer correctly with these two ways. The first of them is respond with closing sentences. Short, concise and succinct sentences that are accompanied by palpable firmness and security, for example:

I’m sorry, I have to leave at five. I can’t today, I’m very sorry. I have other priorities at the moment. What you say is very interesting, I will reflect on the subject. I would like to think about it.

Some may be somewhat sharp, but if we want to avoid being mistreated in one way or another, we will often have to change our friendly position for a firmer one.

The second of these ways of responding is to respond like a broken record. By continually repeating the same thing we will make the other aware of our position, as well as reaffirm ourselves in what we really do not want to allow.

2. Defend yourself in the moment

Try to avoid abuse as it happens. Make it clear to the other person that it is not okay for them to talk to you or treat you that way. Speak clearly and confidently. Even if it’s difficult, make eye contact while telling him to stop talking to you or treating you badly. You could say:

“Please don’t talk to me like that. Maybe we can talk later when you’re calm.” You can also use first-person statements: “I feel bad when you say things like that. “I don’t deserve to be treated like this.” Using this strategy helps you prevent the other person from becoming defensive.

3. Make yourself a priority

When it comes to your health and well-being, make it a priority. Stop worrying about pleasing the person who abuses you. Focus on your needs. Try to think positively and affirm who you are. Also, make sure you get enough rest and eat healthy meals. These simple self-care steps can be of great help in dealing with the daily stress of the abuse you experience.

4. Protect your sense of humor

Nobody has the right to erase your smile. Even in the toughest situations, get up with a smile. This will help you not give importance to what they may tell you. The key is to know yourself. Knowing what you are good at and what you are not good at, what your strengths are and what your weaknesses are, you know what you lack, but also what you possess.

If you are sure of yourself, no one can put you down. Any derogatory word or comment they may say to you will pass as if it were nothing. You know what you are, no one should define you! Smile at the nonsense they may say to you in an effort to humiliate and demean you. You know the truth. They do too, but they try to hurt you just the same.

5. Say what you feel

Why do you stay silent when you want to say what you feel so badly? Why are you afraid? The fear of ridicule and of being refuted makes us not say what we think. You probably even feel afraid that they might hurt you more or doubt that you are right. Learn to say what you feel, learn to express yourself. This will make you stronger and prevent you from getting hurt.

If you’re not liking the tone of voice they’re using with you, say so! If you don’t like how they’re acting, just say so! What’s wrong with that? Learn to express yourself. If others have the audacity to attack you, have the courage to defend yourself.

6. Set limits

Tell the abusive person firmly and confidently that you will no longer allow any more shouting, insults, rudeness, etc. Then, let him know what will happen if he decides to behave abusively toward you. For example, if he insults you, tell him that the conversation will end and you will leave the room. The key is to define your boundaries and make the other person respect them. This will make the other person see that their mistreatment or abuse will not be tolerated.

7. Remove yourself from the situation if possible

If the person continues to say negative things and disrespect your boundaries, remove yourself from the situation.. For example, if you are at home, you could go for a walk. If you are at work, excuse yourself to go to the bathroom.

You can say something like, “I need a few minutes alone” or “There’s something I need to take care of, excuse me.” Walking away also gives the other person time to calm down. Being mistreated is very stressful. Breathing calmly and letting your heart rate slow down can be very helpful. Stay away as long as you need. It can be a few minutes or more.

8. Ask, don’t assert!

When someone who abuses tells us something, we usually stay silent. In this way, we are affirming what he is saying, even if we do not agree with them. Silence in these cases works against us.

Therefore, today you must learn to question what they tell you, allowing the abusive person to expand his arguments. But do you know one thing? You won’t be able to do it. The person who abuses you will respond with “just because”, however, you must force the situation to make him argue because it doesn’t make sense!

In this way, you do not humiliate yourself, you do not allow yourself to be defeated and you place yourself on the same level as that person, allowing them to explain something that they cannot explain. This is where you will know that he is not right and that, therefore, he cannot harm you.

9. Build a support network

Although it is not easy to tell someone that you are being mistreated, talking can help you a lot. Talk to a trusted friend or counselor about what you are experiencing. Stay away from the abusive person as much as you can and spend time with people who love and support you. This support network will help you feel less alone and isolated.

10. Disarm your abuser

Do you want to know how you can disarm the person who mistreats you? It’s simple, You just have to know how to make it block and not know how to respond. We have seen one of these things in the previous point, but there are many more:

Invite him to reflect to show him that he is not right. Use monosyllables that prevent you from entering his game.Speak in a low and slow tone, If the other person is already shouting, don’t do the same, be calm! Bore him in any way, responding as if you were a parrot. Respond with a “so?”

What happens when we act like this? That they leave us in peace. If when they tell us, “those colors don’t match, you look terrible!”, and you respond with “and?”, the abusive person will hit a wall. Think that It feeds on your helplessness, your submission.

11. Work on an escape plan

If the abuser has no intention of changing his bad actions, it is time to cut ties with that person, because it will affect you both mentally and physically if you continue in that relationship. Depending on your situation, you may need to take certain steps. Every situation is different. Therefore, discuss ideas and plans with a trusted friend, family member or advisor.

Finally, the abuser is an insecure person who believes he or she feels safe by humiliating others. Do not let that happen. The option to be mistreated or not lies within you. whether in a romantic relationship, at school or at work.

Healing from abuse takes time. Taking care of yourself, having a support network, practicing self-compassion, and talking to a therapist can help.

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Images courtesy of Angela Carte, Gustav Klimt