When the time comes to say goodbye to your children (empty nest syndrome)

Saying goodbye to the people you love most is not easy and even less so if it is your children.. As parents, we know that at a certain moment they will have to fly the nest, but even if we think we are prepared to face this situation, when it arrives everything changes and our world collapses.

It is normal to feel sadness and grief when our children leave.. We have been responsible for them since they were little, we have taught them almost everything we could about life and we have been there to help and support them when necessary. But this will change. Now they are going to make their lives, they will become independent.

There are many parents who refuse to accept this reality and this causes serious conflicts with their children. Although it is difficult to say goodbye to them, they have to understand that this emancipation is good for them and that it is part of the cycle of life. When this is not the case we find ourselves faced with empty nest syndrome.

When saying goodbye hurts me

Empty nest syndrome is a feeling full of sadness and loneliness. Parents are not able to cope with the departure of their children and anxiety begins to appear in their lives. No matter how much they thought they were prepared for this moment, they were not. Many inside refuse to accept this reality.

Today this situation has been magnified. The young take longer to leave the nest, some even never do so. The economic situation or the comfort of continuing to live with their parents means that they do not have the need to prepare for a future departure; they believe that their children will always be with them.

It is true that if you have more than one child this may not be so difficult. One will leave, but the other may stay. Instead, If you have only had one descendant, his departure will be more painful. He is your only son and you don’t want to lose him. The very fact that he is going on vacation away from you for a long time already causes you some fear.

The fact that the ties may be more or less strong in the relationship with the parents also influences. For example, if we find ourselves with a single mother who has had to raise her child alone, the bond will probably be much more dependent than if the situation had been different. In this case, the mother has relied a lot on her son and cannot conceive of living her life apart from him.

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Emancipation is not a loss

It is difficult to overcome this situation when parents see it in such a dramatic way. For them, the fact that their children want to leave the nest means that they are going to lose them, and they couldn’t be more wrong. They are simply going to live their lives just like they have done. They will build their own family, but they will still be there.

Of course, going to live in another country is not the same as staying in a residence close to your parents. Nevertheless, Many parents feel that if they do not have their children at home they have lost them forever.. Therefore, it is important to change the view we have about the action of saying goodbye and getting even, which is synonymous with loss.

If you are in a relationship, it will be much easier to overcome this situation. You can take advantage of the opportunity to travel, focus again on your relationship and live experiences that until now you had not allowed yourself. There are many parents who forget to take care of their partner because they focus too much on the children.. Now this can change.

If you find yourself alone and have been leaning on your child too much, don’t clip his wings or make him feel guilty for leaving home. Go out with your friends, talk to others, enjoy life, travel, meet new people, but let your child live his life. Remember that you did it at the time and it is not fair that you now put up barriers for the person you love most.

The circumstances are very different, but we can never try to keep our children at home. If they want to emancipate themselves, don’t try to put stones in their way or make them feel bad. It is not fair to you or to him and your relationship may deteriorate because of it.

Saying goodbye is difficult, but it is a law of life. Sooner or later we all take flight to live new experiences, grow and, in some cases, start our own family. Saying goodbye is not synonymous with losing or abandoning, nor does it even imply loneliness. Saying goodbye is moving forward, changing, transforming and maturing..

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