10 phrases that could be removed from vocabulary to avoid harming children

Thoughtless phrases can have a significant negative effect on adults, and especially on children. After all, they are still learning about the world, they cannot filter the information they receive and they take almost everything as absolute truth. However, we do not mean that parents cannot make mistakes: we are all liable to make mistakes, even with vast life experience. Anyway, certain educational phrases are passed down from generation to generation and have the potential to harm the psychological development of little ones more than we imagine.

We, from awesome.club, we decided to analyze the most recurrent phrases that parents say to their children and that should have been left out a long time ago — so that the little ones grow up happier, healthier and more confident. Follow!

Generally, parents are interested in having their children communicate actively and openly with them. After all, that’s the easiest way to stay on top of everything that’s going on and, if it’s something important, possibly keep the child out of trouble. So if you’re willing to go down this path, it’s essential to pay attention to what your little one says and does and respect his desire – to open up or not.

By uttering somewhat impolite statements such as “you’re lying” or “I don’t believe you” without really fully understanding the situation, parents risk jeopardizing the relationship they have with their children. As a result, the child may lose trust in you and start hiding. That’s because, in the decisive moments, when she really needed help, she realized that she couldn’t count on you as a source of support.

Threats of any kind are not the friendliest way to communicate and do not encourage patience in conflict resolution. If a child gets into an argument with you, or is overly sensitive, this could be a sign of stress. And statements like “you’re going to regret this” or “I’m going to leave and you’re never going to see me again” will only increase the tension—making the child feel insecure in their own home.

If the discussion has gone on and you feel that you don’t have the strength to say anything constructive, the best thing to do is suggest that everyone calm down and end the conversation, rather than risk saying something threatening.

Several experts advise avoiding categorical language such as “always/never” with children. The use of these phrases can instill a feeling of powerlessness. Accusations like “you always do everything wrong” or “you will never change” put little ones in a psychological frame that is not only limited, but also quite negative — from which it can be very difficult to get out later.

As a result, such phrases, which may be said with no intention of hurting, just to encourage positive changes in the child, may, instead, instigate him to continue the previously demonstrated bad behavior – which, we imagine, is not the desire to no father or mother.

Perhaps this is the most recurrent figure in the collection of “golden” parenting phrases. The truth is that we can hardly consider it constructive. First, misuse of this argument can make children feel that their feelings don’t matter. Second, it doesn’t teach them to understand context and develop empathy for others, which are very beneficial traits in adult life.

For example, your child is begging to go to the playground, and you need to do the laundry and dishes. If you don’t explain the reason and just say “no”, the child will not react well: after all, you will be the person who is preventing him from going out to have fun for no reason. On the other hand, if you explain the situation, she will understand that it’s not because you don’t want to, even if she still gets upset.

The danger of blaming a child for his or her “stupidity”, and its variations, lies in a few details. First, even in children’s circles, this is considered a rather disrespectful and derogatory form. Second, hearing such a comment from a person who has knowledge, life experience and whom you love can hurt doubly. After all, adults should know what they’re talking about, right? Finally, there is a risk that the child will feel these words deep in his chest — which can become the reason for the development of complexes in adult life.

Overprotective parents usually resort to the following most common resources: clarification, doubts and obsessive help. That is, by trying to do everything for their children, or by convincing them not to do something, parents believe they are protecting their little ones from danger and disappointment. However, it is almost inevitable that children take this attitude in a negative way and notice, mainly, the lack of confidence that their parents have in their abilities and capacities. This behavior, therefore, can lead to the development of complexes in adult life – the child will potentially be afraid to take on new activities alone.

Phrases like this give the idea that salty and nutritious food is not as tasty as dessert. Eventually, in this way, the little ones can create a negative association and will want less and less the food they are being forced to eat – even if they previously had a good relationship with meals.

So, if you don’t want your child to develop bad eating habits, don’t put dessert on a “pedestal”, that is, don’t create such a big contrast between it and other foods. And just as important, don’t present it as a reward. The best thing to do is to remain neutral and give the child the power of choice. For example, you can say, “You he can eat dessert, if you wantafter dinner”.

Another common form of threat is the promise to resort to physical punishment—using the famous belt. With this method, not only is the stress and lack of a sense of security increased, but also the fact that, over time, the warning can start to be taken as an “empty threat”. The child grows up and, at some point, will disobey, despite intimidation.

Eventually, the little one will realize that the summons to pick up the belt, or to leave it alone in the forest, was not real. And so, he will end up ignoring your threats when he realizes it was all a bluff, just because you didn’t know what else to do. To prevent this from happening, the ideal is not to force the child to obey you, but to try to establish a strong bond of mutual trust and respect.

If an adult, whom the child trusts, points out that there is something wrong with him, we can be sure: he will absorb the information and believe it. The biggest risk, however, is that this phrase is too abstract. That is, the question will echo in the child’s head all the time, but without an answer. Either she will interpret it her way, or she will inflate the problem and conclude: “I’m a bad person”. Ultimately, it may take years of therapy to overcome this complex.

Everyone goes through difficult and troubled times at work. So it’s not uncommon for us to go home complaining loudly to our wife or husband about how terrible the job was. It seems to be a common and even harmless practice, however, children absorb everything like sponges. Studies have already shown that our attitudes towards life can have a big impact on how little ones see the world.

Consequently, such protests and complaints about work in front of children can lead them to think that the craft is an unwanted and life-ruining occupation. As a result, they either grow up believing that adulthood is a nightmare, or they may avoid choosing a career because they are afraid of the consequences.

In your opinion, what other phrases should parents stop saying to their children? Comment!