You will never lose by giving love, he who does not know how to value it loses.

No one loses by giving love, because offering it with sincerity, with passion and delicate affection dignifies us as people. On the other hand, those who do not know how to receive it or take care of that immense gift are the ones who truly lose. Therefore remember, Never regret having loved and lost, because the worst thing is not knowing how to love.

Fortunately, neuroscience offers us day after day revealing information that explains why we act the way we do when it comes to love. The first thing to remember is that the human brain is not prepared for lossovercomes us, immobilizes us and cloisters us for a time in the palace of suffering.

We are genetically programmed to connect with each other and to build emotional bonds with which we feel safe, with which to build a project. This is how we have survived as a species, “connecting”, hence a loss, a separation and even a simple misunderstanding instantly triggers the alarm signal in our brain.

Now, another complex aspect on the topic of emotional relationships is the way in which we face this separation, this breakup. From a neurological point of view, it can be said that stress hormones begin to be released instantly, forming in many cases what is known as “a broken heart.” However, from an emotional and psychological point of view, what many people feel is another type of reality.

They not only experience pain from the lack of a loved one. They feel a loss of energy, of vital breath. It is as if all the love given, all the hopes and affections dedicated to that person had also gone, leaving them empty, barren, withered…

So… how can we love again if the only thing that lives inside us is the dust of a bad memory? It is necessary that we face these moments in another way. We’ll talk to you about it below.

Give love or avoid loving again

All of us are a delicate and chaotic compendium of past stories, of lived emotions, of buried bitterness and camouflaged fears. When starting a new relationship, no one does so by first sending all their past experiences to the recycling bin.. Nobody starts from “0”. Everything is there, and the way we have managed our past will make us live an affective and emotional present with greater maturity, with greater fullness.

Now, the fact of having experienced firsthand a bitter betrayal or, simply, Perceiving that love has gone out in the heart of our partner greatly changes the way we see things.. Giving love with intensity during a certain period, and then remaining empty and cloistered in the room of memories and lost illusions, often changes the architecture of our personality.

There is no shortage of those who become distrustful, and even those who little by little develop the icy and iron shell of isolation in which to internalize the classic mantra of “better not to love so as not to suffer”. However, it is necessary to demolish a basic idea in these processes of slow “self-destruction”.

We should never regret having loved, having risked everything or nothing for that person. It is these acts that dignify us, that make us human and wonderful at the same time. To live is to love and to love is to give meaning to our lives through all the things we do: our work, our hobbies, our personal and emotional relationships…

If we renounce love or regret having offered it, we also renounce the most beautiful part of ourselves.

Heal lost love

According to a study carried out in the University College London, There are certain differences between men and women when facing an emotional breakup. The emotional response seems to be very different. Women feel the impact of separation much more, however it is common for them to recover sooner than men.

They, for their part, usually appear to be well, they wear the mask of strength, taking refuge in their occupations and responsibilities. However, they do not always manage to overcome that breakup or it takes years to do so. The reason? The female sex usually has better skills to manage their emotional world. Facilitating venting, seeking support and facing what happened from a perspective where forgiveness and the attitude of turning the page are found usually make things easier.

Be that as it may, and beyond the genders or the reason that caused this breakup, some things are clear that need to be inoculated into our hearts as a vaccine. No emotional failure should prevent us from our opportunity to be happy again. Let us say “no” to being slaves to the past and eternal captives of suffering.

Another aspect that is good to remember is that loving is not synonymous with suffering. Let’s not raise hopes or extend the “gum” of a relationship that already has an expiration date. A timely retreat saves hearts and a brave goodbye closes one door to open another., the one where love is always combined with the word HAPPINESS.

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Main image courtesy of Amanda Cass