Why is it so difficult for me to make decisions?

Life is a constant decision making. From the moment we get up until we go to bed, we have to choose, select, opt for some alternatives and discard others.. In something as simple as choosing what to have for breakfast, or in something more complex, like accepting or rejecting a job or ending a relationship, we find ourselves at crossroads. But why do some people have such a hard time making decisions?

We can all experience restlessness or restlessness when faced with important dilemmas. Nobody wants to make a mistake and have to regret the consequences later. However, Sometimes this indecision becomes pathological, seriously affecting people’s well-being.. Discovering the causes can guide us about what aspects need to be worked on to reverse this situation.

Why is it so difficult to make decisions?

If we stop to think about why it is so difficult for us to make decisions, we may not be able to identify the reasons. But, In many cases, it is the following reasons that stop us:

Fear of taking responsibility

Being adults gives us the opportunity to choose and act according to our preferences and opinions. This leads us to a freer life than when we were minors, but it also burdens us with the enormous weight of responsibility. And, at this moment, the result depends solely on us, there is no one to blame anymore. So, The fear of making mistakes, of making mistakes and having to assume the consequences of our actions can paralyze us when it comes to deciding..

Let’s take as an example the case of a person who considers leaving his job to start a business. She knows that only she will be responsible if she goes wrong and ends up ruined; but she will also be if she continues in that job and feels totally unhappy. Assuming this clash of forces is not easy and some people are overwhelmed or blocked.

Choosing means discarding

Decision making can become complicated when we become aware that We are not just choosing one option; At the same time, we are also giving up all the other. For this reason, many people carry out an exhaustive and conscientious analysis of all the alternatives.

This tendency to overanalyze and excessively rationalize decisions makes us slow; sometimes, maladaptive, taking into account the dynamism of our environment. And the individual never feels that he has all the necessary information or that he has taken all perspectives into account.

Thus, the analysis seems to have no end and is never satisfactory. For example: buying a car means not buying others; and among them you may find one that is faster, safer or with a better price than the one you chose.

Inappropriate parenting styles

Generally, underlying these fears, insecurities and indecisions is an inadequate parenting style during childhood. Autonomy, self-confidence and responsibility are aspects that begin to be worked on at home, from the first years of life.. As infants make decisions and learn from them, it becomes more and more natural to them. Thus, when they reach adulthood they are able to choose without major problems.

However, sometimes this process is not carried out properly. If parents are excessively overprotective, they prevent the child from making decisions and experiencing the consequences. For this reason, he will have to face adult decisions without having practiced with smaller ones during his growth. On the other hand, very authoritarian parents tend to blame their children excessively for their mistakes, creating a burden of guilt and anxiety that can paralyze them when making decisions.

What to do when it is so difficult to make decisions?

Those who suffer from high levels of indecision may encounter serious difficulties in their daily lives. Generally They are people who act in a submissive and dependent manner and always need the company of others to decide. This generates anguish, insecurity and low self-esteem in addition to preventing them from developing as autonomous adults.

Therefore, in these cases it is necessary to start working with beliefs, accept errors as a natural part of the process and learn to relativize. But above all, It will be essential to practice, start making decisions and strengthen security and self-confidence.. Professional guidance can be of great help when the process seems too complex to tackle alone.

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