Genuine love needs room to breathe

Saying that genuine love needs room to breathe can catch our attention. Why will the most established and happy couples need those hours of personal independence with which to put distance from each other? In reality, this is possibly the key to satisfaction in your emotional bond, allowing yourself your own spaces, moments with yourself without ceasing to attend to the relational bond.

The issue is not new, but we still do not handle this dimension well. There are many couples who orbit around dependency as slaves of a distorted love.. That where you think that it is necessary to agree on everything, that sharing together as many hours as possible is synonymous with complicity and happiness. However, many have discovered that this formula is unhygienic.

Occasional distance and individual spaces are part of those ingredients that sustain the roots of satisfied relationships. What’s more, sometimes even passion is reinforced by these dynamics.

Why does genuine love need room to breathe?

Individualistic couples and dependent couples. Extremes are never good. However, even placing ourselves in that center in which we try to respect identities while looking for shared spaces, things remain complicated.

For example, if at a given moment our partner tells us that he needs time for himself, we become alert. At the moment, we almost assume that this lawsuit is nothing more than the prelude to a breakup.

Asking for space, requesting time for ourselves or proposing to spend a few days separately is sometimes interpreted in a negative way.. We forget that genuine love, understood as sincere affection that works daily for mutual well-being, requires all of these dimensions. Let’s dig a little deeper into it to understand it better.

Sometimes being together we are a thousand light years away from each other

This fact is striking and most of us know it well. There are many couples who spend a lot of time together, but the Sharing common spaces 24 hours a day does not guarantee happiness. Quite the contrary.

Some studies, such as those carried out at the University of Oxford, affirm that the phenomenon of “We are together, but we feel alone” It occurs too frequently.

What’s more, this time together continues to show notable gender differences. On average and not in all cases, it is more common for women to dedicate themselves to housework or childcare, while men prefer other more recreational occupations.

Thus, the moment one of the two says that who needs time for himself in solitudeit is common for it to be misunderstood or seen as a threat to the relationship.

Genuine love needs room to breathe

Genuine love needs room to breathe. So simple and at the same time so difficult to understand and put into practice in some cases.

It is worth remembering here what the psychologist and great relationship expert John Gottman once defined. According to him, Happy relationships strive to build what he defined as “maps of love.”

This dimension consists of having a broad knowledge of the concerns and expectations of the other. Now, it is not enough to know what the partner I want wants and what he aspires to, it also involves ensuring that he achieves it. Because if the other is happy, so am I.

On that map of love, Providing private and personal spaces for each one is the key to well-being and happiness. Now, but what do we really mean by “spaces to breathe”?

Spaces to breathe is to respect—and support—the professional projects that each one has. A space to breathe is allow the couple to enjoy their hours of solitude or company with friends and family, without distrust. Without worrying. Without assuming that they are going to betray us. Genuine love needs space to breathe and even days apart. However, none of that alters your feelings for the other person. Taking trips at some time of the year without your partner does not have to be a betrayal.

Genuine love is fueled by slow-burning affection

We often take for granted that passionate love is the most authentic, the one that can give us the most fulfillment. However, these types of highly effusive relationships fade early in many cases. So, When we say that genuine love needs spaces to breathe, it is not by chance.

These types of ties know that stability and satisfaction need that slow, everyday fire that does not burn, but rather knows how to be a home. It is understanding that, even if we are separated for hours, days or weeks, affection continues to comfort us.

As is often said, every good fire needs oxygen to maintain combustion. Giving ourselves space and air to breathe is not betraying the other, it is being able to love with greater intensity and authenticity.

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