Why is it difficult for me to be happy for the happiness of others?

It is not uncommon to find oneself in the uncomfortable situation of experiencing indifference, envy or even distaste for the perception of the well-being and achievements of others. Many times it is difficult to rejoice in the happiness of others, no matter how much shared love there is.and this could indicate the presence of some underlying psychological problem.

Among them, and as can be extracted from the specialized scientific literature, the most common problem is usually depression.

In this article you will find some keys related to this issue and also how to try to address this problem to ensure that, without envy or bad feelings, other people’s happiness be your own.

Why is it difficult for me to be happy for the happiness of others?

Perhaps you have perceived – either by yourself or by external comments – that every time a close person brings good news about themselves (a job promotion, the wedding of a son or daughter, the receipt of an award…) you experience a first and irrepressible negative emotion. At some point you may have also seen this scenario depicted in the emotional state of others.

An emotion that can be diluted in a mixture of feelings of rejection, envy, anger, injustice, desires for the evil of others… In short, while You are expected to share and make that joy your own.a visceral and uncontrollable blockage prevents you, during the first fractions of a second, from showing a spontaneous and true feeling of joy.

Probably, too, this trait has not always been present in you with more or less intensity. It is then worth stopping to think that, perhaps, there is something within you that prevents you from aligning yourself emotionally with the happiness of others; popular philosophy is wise: how to be happy for others when the person has not found their own happiness for a long time.

From a broad perspective, this tendency to be refractory to the emotional well-being of others could be categorized as dysfunctional social behavior. It is precisely in depressive experiences where the inclination to react negatively to social interactions has been studied the most – and where it is most clearly seen; Depressive symptoms usually correlate, however, with a low quality in personal relationships..

Furthermore, it should be noted that a poor mood is usually associated with the erosion of self-concept. An impoverishment of the vision of the self that frequently also affects its closest neighbor: self-esteem.

In this sense, we find a curious phenomenon. Significant damage to our self-concept makes us more likely to highlight in others what they possess, or we consider they possess, to a greater extent or consistency.. And, naturally, the result of overestimating its attributes can be a feeling of aversion and a negative attitude towards all that circumstance and positive quality that implies the memory and validation of them.

On the other hand, the tacit hostility, observable in people with passive-aggressive personality traits, it is related to the feeling of envy; It would be this feeling that mediates between a broken psycho-affective state and the tendency to value negatively what others have positively.

On the other hand, envy in isolation is not a symptom of pathology. In fact, Richard Smith – professor at the University of Kentucky and specialist in the study of the phenomenon of envy – highlights that part of our survival relies on envy: We use comparison as a measurement of our own status and as a driving force towards personal improvement.

Now, yes Knowledge of other people’s happiness produces excessive discomfort or interferes negatively in our lives.we can talk about a problem. A difficulty that will require a solution, in which the following strategies would fit.

What can I do to be happy for others?

We would do well to prevent negativity from taking root and turning us into bitter people, unable to develop empathic happiness; Life, the happier, the better lived. Some of the most efficient measures you can take to achieve this paradigmatic change are:

Be grateful for what you have. Try to focus on those things in your existence that make you feel good and change your mental perspective to stop clinging to those that don’t.Your worth does not come from external elements. That is to say: you are worth what you are and not what you have. The greatest of your riches is in your potential and what you hold within you.Try to find inspiration, rather than discouragement, in the success of others. The triumphs of others can be conceived as a demonstration of the possibility of one’s own triumphs and can serve as a guide to undertake important objectives.Realize that there is enough room in the world for everyone’s happiness, including yours.. That others enjoy success, succulent material goods or enviable personal traits does not prevent you from finding yourself in a similar position. The world is big; enough to house millions of achievers.Have confidence in the future and that you will be able to find a happier place for yourself in the world. You are not completely at the mercy of the dictates of chance; Working on yourself will pay off, and you should find comfort and motivation in that thought.

Why let bad feelings come to you when the world is being good to the people you love? Don’t waste time looking at others, comparing yourself and devaluing yourself; your happiness and good luck are on the way, you just have to know it and fight for it.

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