Why I feel like no one cares about me: keys to looking at yourself from the inside

We all need to feel that we are loved. It is almost as important as eating or sleeping: a fundamental need. When you feel that no one really loves you, that no one cares enough about you, it is as if you were deprived of the food to live. Physical survival depends on food and sleep and the emotional survival of affect.

Abraham Maslow himself, humanistic psychologist and creator of the pyramid of self-actualization needs, proposed the need for filiation or affection as primordial. In his pyramid, after covering basic or physiological needs and safety needs, emotional needs are emphasized.

Although we do not always cover that emotional need as we want. What’s more, the feeling that no one really loves you arises from different sources. In principle, it is a truth that covers all human beings. Nobody loves us perfectly. Even the deepest and most sincere loves, like that of mothers, are imperfect and incomplete.

If you idealize love a lot you could come to the conclusion that no one really loves you, because they are not willing to give their lives for you. Or because they eventually fail you and aren’t there whenever you need them. Those who love from emotional lack demand more of the love that others can give them. And because their expectations are so high and not met, they could feel constantly let down.

There may be times when you feel that no one really loves you because you simply cannot build genuine bonds of affection. with the others. Maybe you have hidden under your skin and isolated yourself. Maybe you don’t know how to build and maintain bonds of affection. Then, you feel trapped in a loneliness that hurts, in a disaffection that hurts.

Nobody loves you, and neither do you?

It often happens that when you feel like no one loves you, that “no one” also includes you.. It is relatively easy for someone to realize that they have low self-esteem. It’s also easy to say, “Okay, now it’s just about loving myself more.” The difficult thing is to give that purpose a reality.

Let’s say a little tongue twister: it’s not that you don’t want to love yourself, but that you can’t find a way to do it. Lack of self-esteem does not come from nowhere. Behind this there is often a whole history of disaffection, sometimes abandonment or violent attacks.

One of the most likely reasons that can be found behind the feeling of lack of affection for ourselves is that During the first years of our lives they gave us false arguments, often disguised as innocence, why not to do it.. In one way or another they conveyed to us the idea that we were not worth it. That we weren’t worthy enough of love.

We believed it because, surely, the person who led us to think this way was a loved, even admired, person.. It is very possible that we have begun life loving without being loved. Carrying a “why” for which there were no answers. It is even possible that we have learned not to love ourselves, just to please a father, a mother or some beloved figure who expected that from us because she lived astray.

Do we help others so that they don’t love us?

It is a reality that sometimes we are in a condition of emotional deprivation. Or in other words, lack of affection. We may even come to the conclusion that we do not want to live like this, however it is not easy to untie the knot that ties us to that condition. At this point it is worth asking ourselves the question from the subtitle: do we help others so that they love us?

Although the feeling that no one truly loves you is very deep, the way out of that pit may not be that far away. Sometimes it is just about forgiving those who have not loved us, for their emotional limitations.. To admit that his disaffection had much more to do with them than with ourselves.

It also involves forgiving ourselves, because, in truth, we did not do or failed to do something to make ourselves worthy of that lack of love. Understand that there is nothing wrong with us and that Any feeling of guilt, with its consequent punishment, has no reason to exist..

The exit…

It is important to ask ourselves if we know how to love others. If our concept of love has evolved enough to understand that giving affection is not arbitrarily sacrificing oneself for others. Or be extremely solicitous when it comes to meeting their needs.

Sometimes we show ourselves desperately in need of affection and this scares us, it alienates us. It is a signed confession that we do not love each other and that we need that other to feel some appreciation for ourselves. At this point it happens that no one wants to shoulder such a responsibility, nor does they have to.

We may not have developed enough social skills eitherYou might be interested…