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Why do Japanese children obey and don’t throw tantrums?

The character of the Japanese is admired in different parts of the world. We have seen them face enormous tragedies with great stoicism. They do not lose control and maintain their collective sense in any circumstance. They also stand out for their enormous respect for others and their great capacity for work.

It’s not just Japanese adults who are like this. Children are also very different from those we are used to seeing in the West. From a very young age, his soft manners and affability are noticeable. Japanese children are not the type to throw tantrums and lose control over everything..

“Trying to control our own reactions without success is the script that leads to the slavery of fear.”

-Giorgio Nardone-

How have the Japanese managed to have a society in which the values ​​of self-control, respect and temperance predominate? Are they so severe that they have managed to have a disciplined society? Or maybe, Do your parenting strategies involve effective patterns? Let’s look at the topic in greater detail.

The Japanese place great value on family

Something that makes the Japanese very special is the relationship between the different generations.

At the same time, the elderly see children and young people as people in training. That’s why they are tolerant and affectionate with them. They adopt a guiding role, not as judges or inquisitors in their lives. That’s why, The links between young and old are usually very harmonious.

And the Japanese maintain a great appreciation for the extended family. But at the same time, they have well-established limits. For example, for them it is inconceivable that grandparents take care of a child because the parents do not have time. The links are not based on an exchange of favorsbut in a worldview in which everyone has their own place.

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Parenting is based on sensitivity

Most Japanese families understand parenting as an emotional practice

In general, When a child does something wrong, his parents disapprove with a look or a gesture of displeasure. This way they make them understand that their action is not acceptable. It is common for them to use phrases like “you hurt him,” or “you hurt yourself” to emphasize that their behavior is negative because it causes harm, not just because.

These types of formulas apply even to objects. If a child, for example, breaks a toy, the child’s parents will most likely say, “You hurt him.” They don’t say “you broke it.” The Japanese emphasize the value involved and not the way things work. For those Children learn from a very young age to be sensitive to everythingsomething that makes them more respectful.

The big secret: quality time

All of the above elements are very important. But none of them are more so than the fact that The Japanese are willing to give their children quality time.. They do not conceive parenting as something distant, quite the opposite. Generating close bonds with your children is very important for them.

It is unusual for a mother to take her child to school before the age of three.. It is common to see mothers carrying their little ones everywhere. This physical contact, which is also seen a lot in ancestral communities, generates deeper bonds. This proximity of the skin is also that of the soul. For the Japanese mother it is very important to talk to her little ones about herself.

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The same goes for parents and grandparents. It is common for families to get together to talk. Eating as a family and telling stories is one of the most frequent activities. Family stories are told over and over again. This generates a sense of identity and belonging in the little ones. Also a deep appreciation for the word and the company.

That’s why Japanese children rarely throw tantrums. They are surrounded by an environment that does not cause them major shocks. They do not feel emotionally abandoned. They perceive that the world has an order and that everyone has a place. This gives them serenity, sensitizes them and helps them understand that explosions of spirit are unnecessary.

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