Why do I feel like everyone hates me?

It is possible that at some point in your life you have said: “I feel like everyone hates me.” These types of beliefs, in some cases experiences, They can negatively influence your relationshipsin the image you have of yourself and the world.

When you think you are hated, little by little your well-being and emotional stability decrease.. You no longer feel calm and people become the constant reminder that no one loves you and that “everyone hates you.” When you experience it firsthand, your physical and emotional integrity is in check.

In this article we will explore what this expression means and some possible reasons why you might feel this way. In addition, we will offer some practical tips to help you begin to overcome episodes of this type.

What does the expression: “I feel like everyone hates me” mean?

To understand this expression, it is necessary to first understand what hate is. We will define it as a intense feeling of anger, disgust and contemptwhose main motive is to harm the other.

According to research published in Emotion, Hate is more related to contempt and disgust than to anger. Therefore, we should not understand it only as an emotional state of intense fury.

Now that we have conceptualized hate, let’s clarify what you mean when you say, “I feel like everyone hates me.” You may allude to the fact that people despise or reject you. Also, you may notice that they want to get revenge on you for some mistake you have made, or that they avoid being with you and move away whenever you approach them.

In the background, The reasons you have for saying that everyone hates you are only known to you.. However, the most common thing is that individuals maintain and reaffirm this statement because they feel rejected or do not perceive that they are loved.

Regardless of the reason, it is necessary to highlight that This feeling does not always reflect reality. Thoughts and beliefs can alter your perceptions of the behavior of others, making you believe that they despise you.

Likewise, the cognitive distortions associated with them can make you conclude that everyone hates you, when in reality only some do. In other cases, and these are the most serious, you may indeed be the target of actions related to contempt and hatred.

6 reasons why you feel like everyone hates you

There are many reasons why you feel this way. If you want to know your true motives, we recommend you go to a mental health professional, above all, if that feeling is mitigating your well-being and quality of life.

Below we will explain some generic reasons that could make you feel like everyone hates you. Remember, they are possibilities and in no case do they constitute an accurate diagnosis or explanation of your case. With this in mind, let’s dive in!

1. You have paranoid personality traits

He Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) defines paranoia as a state of “distrust and intense suspicion of others, such that their motives are interpreted as malevolent». People with this disorder may believe that others want to harm them.

Let us remember that hate is linked to the intention to harm. Therefore, if you have a paranoid personality and assume that people want to destroy you or have malicious intentions, it is understandable that you feel that everyone hates you.

2. You are a victim of harassment

Both in the world of work and school, many people are victims of bullying. An article in Archives of disease in childhood defines it as: «aggressive behavior or intentional harm by peers that is carried out repeatedly and implies an imbalance of power.

If you are a victim of harassment, bullying either bullying, you have enough reason to say: “I feel like everyone hates me.” How can you not affirm it when people attack, humiliate and degrade you? If this is your case, with much more reason we insist that you request professional help.

3. You are a victim of xenophobia or racism

Xenophobia is characterized by rejection and hatred of foreigners or immigrants. For its part, racism is a type of discrimination based on the idea that certain races are superior to others. According to the American Psychological Association, racism includes emotional responses and negative stereotypes about members of a group.

In this context, full of rejection, discrimination and hatred, the idea that everyone hates you flourishes with naturalness, especially if you are a foreigner or of a different ethnicity. Therefore, reflect on whether in your daily life you are being a victim of racism or some other type of discrimination, as this may be affecting the way you feel in the world.

4. You have a cognitive distortion

The expression “I feel like everyone hates me” is the perfect reflection of your cognitive distortions. Let’s understand cognitive distortion as any thought error, bias or mental filter that disturbs the processing of information about yourself or others. Some of them are:

selective abstractionpersonalizationdichotomous thinkingovergeneralizationarbitrary inference

In “I feel like everyone hates me” we can identify at least two distortions. One of them is overgeneralization, which makes you universalize a particular experience. For example, if a group of people hate you, you generalize by saying that everyone hates you.

The other is dichotomous thinking, which leads you to think only in extreme terms (all or nothing). In this case, either everyone hates you or no one hates you, there is no middle ground. Therefore, if some people hate you, you will claim that everyone does.

Be aware of distortions because they can increase vulnerability to depressionThis is stated in an article published in Europe’s journal of psychology.

5. You have self-esteem problems

Low self-esteem is another factor that explains why you feel like everyone hates you. It is, especially, when the appreciation you feel for yourself is at rock bottom, you despise yourself and you don’t feel worthy of the affection of others. Thus, “I feel like everyone hates me” appears as a confirmation bias that validates your idea of ​​not being worthy of being loved.

Reduced self-esteem can also make you feel insecure in front of others. and that you perceive everything that others do as an attack. In these circumstances, you will feel hated all the time because all you perceive are attacks.

6. You have had negative experiences in the past

Past negative experiences related to hate can cause you to believe that the world hates you today.. As a result, you may only look for signs of this rejection, thus confirming your core belief: everyone hates me.

As you can see, cognitive biases and distortions play an important role again, as well as self-esteem problems resulting from what you have experienced. The combination of all these factors, linked to the memory of your past, can cause all those sensations and ideas that you have about yourself and the world around you.

“I feel like everyone hates me”: what do I do to get over it?

Below we will give you some tips that may be useful to start working on that belief and the emotions associated with it.

Question your thoughts: The main objective you have is to question your ideas, since they are the source of the biases that perpetuate your belief. Identify which distortions are being activated and begin to design new ways to express yourself and understand what is happening to you. Do you think you would feel hatred for another person in this situation? What would you say to a friend who raises a thought similar to the one you have?Practice self-compassion and self-love: Instead of getting stuck in the idea that the world hates you, give yourself love and compassion, this could help change the way you feel. Kristin Neff, a renowned researcher in the field of self-compassion, notes that “Higher levels of self-compassion are linked to greater feelings of happiness, optimism, curiosity and connection, as well as a decrease in anxiety, depression, rumination and fear of failure. Don’t hesitate to practice it!Improve your social skills: Training your skills to relate to others can help you create new relationships where you don’t feel rejected and don’t think you are hated. Maybe some people hate you, but they are not the whole world. Begin to weave new ties and interpersonal connections.Do activities that make you feel calm and happy: What generates peace of mind and joy for you? Think for a moment. Now, make time to do it several times during the week. Try to choose healthy activities that are not a risk to your well-being.Visit a therapist: If the thought that everyone hates you is overwhelming, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. With the help of a therapist you will be able to determine what is causing that belief and how to overcome everything you are experiencing as a consequence of it.

Of course, if based on past reflections you discover that you are being subjected to an episode of discrimination, xenophobia or harassment, do not hesitate to take action on the matter. Depending on the context, there are many things you can do. For example, talk to your parents (if you are a minor), with your boss (if you suffer from workplace harassment) and with the institutions where you perceive the acts (schools, universities and others).

You can also contact non-profit organizations specialized in advise or protect people in such circumstances. Talking about it with a friend, creating a virtual or in-person support group and even discussing it with official authorities (security forces, lawyers and others) are on the list of things you can do.

Conclusion

In this article we have reviewed some of the main reasons why you might feel hated. It is worth noting that what you believe may not accurately reflect reality, since what you think may be influenced by your cognitive distortions. Other times, however, it does have a practical basis in your daily life.

Regardless of the origin of what you feel, It is essential that you work on it if your well-being and personal development are declining. We invite you to reflect on your emotions and ideas around the hatred that you may be perceiving against you. Likewise, to seek help and support in case your integrity and safety are at stake.

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