Where do we get the strength to move forward?

Where do we get the strength to move forward in difficult times? Is it because of the support of our loved ones? Or is there perhaps some kind of hidden energy in the brain capable of acting as a catapult in the midst of adversity? For some it is a matter of faith, for others that word that is so fashionable in recent times: psychological resilience.

Sigmund Freud commented that the secret of our strength is in our desires.. It is this last competition, that of clarifying what we want and expect from life, that often challenges us to continue moving forward. Later Viktor Frankl would replace the term “desire” with “purpose”, for that vital goal capable of setting us in motion… even in the most complicated situations.

However, let’s face it, it’s not always easy to find purpose when all we feel is discouragement. We have all gone through that time when our strength was slipping from our hands and our minds.. The support of our people or our own efforts to find hope in life again do not matter. There are times when it is impossible to be strong and even less so to use strength in the midst of a crisis.

Beating ourselves up right now doesn’t help us. Falling is permissible. Not finding strength when we need it most is understandable. Let’s see, therefore, how we can overcome it. Because Beyond what we can think, in us there is an innate ability to face complex situations.

Where do we get the strength to move forward?

The neurologist, psychoanalyst and ethologist Boris Cyrulnik points out that people weave ourselves with the ends of the wool of the biological, the affective and the psychological. Times of pain also shape who we are because, as he rightly points out, The human being is also made of scars and, despite this, he survives and achieves complete happiness..

This is how he explains it to us, for example, in his book Ugly ducklings, resilience: an unhappy childhood does not determine life. In this wonderful work, she presents the case of Barbara, a girl who, after surviving the drama of World War II, metamorphosed her trauma into poetry and became a writer.

Where did this girl get the strength to overcome everything she has seen and experienced? Where do people get the strength to move forward? Let’s look at some strategies.

The plastic shield

Maurice Vanderpol, former president of the Boston Psychoanalytic Institute, is one of the psychologists who has most studied the effects of the Holocaust on survivors. He was interested in understanding what was special about those people, like little Barbara, who left the concentration camps with a strong mentality.

He introduced an interesting term: the plastic shield. It is a psychological mechanism that acts almost like a protection door, a barrier where the most terrible thing never penetrates the mind. These survivors created a kind of imaginary mental refuge to escape to. Once in that place, they remembered what they loved, they remembered their loved ones, as well as the happy moments they experienced.

On the other hand, that plastic shield It was also made up of other characteristics: a sense of humor, a critical perspective, and a sense of hope. Exceptional ingredients to allow us to be reborn from the ashes.

Take a step back to gain perspective

Your strength to move forward does not emerge overnight. There is no switch that one can flip to automatically bring up encouragement and awaken courage. It takes time and also psychological distance.. Now, what does this consist of and what is it for?

Let’s think about it. Things are not resolved in the same state of suffering and complexity in which we are.. Sometimes, you have to lower the volume of the anguish, look at things coldly, take a step back and then see with perspective.

It is in those moments when an internal voice awakens that can tell us things like «It will be of no use to you to continue crying. With tears you vent but you are not going to get that person to come back, to make that thing that left come back again. Assume it and move forward, it’s time.”

When you find a reason you don’t lack the strength to keep going.

Danish psychologist KB Madsen is an expert in human motivation. In his work he highlights the importance of differentiating the two types of motivations. On the one hand, there would be the magnetic motivations: they are those that drive us to survive, to satisfy our basic needs such as hunger, sleep, thirst…

On the other hand, there are social reasons. They are those in which our goals in life, our affiliation needs, the values ​​that move us and make us are integrated. remember what we want in our existence. Thus, one of the most basic impulses when it comes to finding the strength to move forward is undoubtedly these two types of motives.

In moments of darkness, we are not only clear that we continue to be part of this world that we long to survive. In the mind they must be clarified the whys and the wherefores. Move forward to take care of my family, get up to fulfill my professional goals, my dreams and desires for personal development. Putting one foot in front of the other to feel free and trace the path of my desires in security, in happiness.

As Antoine de Saint-Exupéry once said, “The whole world turns away when it sees a person passing by who knows where he is going.” That should be our attitude. Remember what we want to walk towards it.

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