What role are you going to choose? The victim or the winner?

We have all at some point wished that the world was fairer and kinder. That people were more considerate and life simpler. However, things don’t always turn out the way we want them to be. And when we find ourselves faced with an adverse situation, it is our choice to settle into the role of victim or take charge.

Well, ultimately, we only have two options. On the one hand we can accept what happened, learn something and continue forward with more strength and wisdom. And, on the other, We can repeatedly focus on how what happened has harmed us, claim that it is injustice and abuse, and become filled with self-pity. and destructive feelings.

But we must keep in mind that our emotional state and the direction of our life will depend on our decision.. Therefore, it is important to be aware of whether we are settling into this passive role and the consequences it may have.

Do you feel like a victim?

Sometimes we have this role so internalized that we do not even realize that we are playing it.. We are not referring to specific moments in which a person can suffer deception, abuse or scam. Well, no one is exempt from finding themselves in these situations at some point in their life.

We are talking about a constant disposition to perceive the world as a hostile, unfair and unpredictable place. To see people as cruel and selfish as a general rule. The individual who lives in the role of victim firmly believes that everything and everyone is against him. He feels helpless and beaten by life and feels sorry for himself.

When faced with an adverse situation, they tend to mentally ruminate on what happened. They think over and over again about the unfairness of the event, constantly feeding their feelings of anguish, resentment and helplessness.. They even often externalize these thoughts, continually lamenting their tragedy to anyone who wants to listen. Crying out for the injustice that has been committed against them and seeking to awaken the compassion of others.

Although they frequently succeed, this only perpetuates their status as unhappy victims. Your life is filled with passivity, shame, mistrust, self-pity, and a sense of lack of control. before what happens. This inevitably leads the person to depressed and suspicious moods, and even to isolation.

The role of victim is a painful role, full of discomfort and suffering. But it is also, in some way, addictive. The more you enter into this dynamic of thinking, the more difficult it is to become aware of the havoc it is causing in your life and to get out of it.

Abandon that role

The tendency to take the role of victim does not arise out of nowhere. It has a lot to do with our upbringing and the environment we live in during childhood. A child already has little control over what happens in his life, since it is largely directed by adults. But When, in addition, parents carry out an overprotective education, they can limit the development of the minor’s autonomy.

If the parents express themselves towards the child with excess compassion and overprotection, they convey the idea that he is not capable of facing life. When you grow up hearing “poor thing,” instead of “you can do it,” you end up playing the role of poor victim of circumstances.

It is also possible that you have adopted this attitude after seeing it for years in one of your parents. Well, we learn to relate to the world based on how the people who raise us do.

However, even if you had a childhood with these characteristics, today the decision to abandon the role of victim is yours alone.. You are no longer a helpless or powerless child, you are an adult capable of directing your life and your thoughts.

If you identify with the aforementioned qualities, it’s time to say enough is enough. Work on making your mind more flexible, on understanding that things will not always go as you plan but that you are still capable of adapting to circumstances and moving forward. Remember that you have the power, that everything depends on you. If you don’t like your current situation, change it.

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