What lies behind those who practice destructive criticism as a way of life

What reason could there be for there to be people who continually need to criticize their surroundings to feel good? What could be the hidden motivation behind destructive criticism? What is missing inside that needs to be filled with what is outside? Here may be the key to the criticism.

A study conducted by Wake Forest University showed that people who criticized were actually the unhappiest and most at risk of depression. This could also be demonstrated with another recent study: this study revealed that experiences of destructive criticism, rejection and humiliation are processed in the same part of the brain responsible for regulating the sensation of pain.

Turning this phrase around we can realize that Those who criticize are the people most dissatisfied with their lives.. People who need to “lower what is outside to raise what is inside”, people who are not happy for the achievements of others, people who prefer to criticize rather than propose solutions, negative people or empty people with low self-esteem.

Low self-esteem is the basis of destructive criticism

What we criticize about other people says more about ourselves than about others. When we talk about others, we actually project aspects of ourselves outwards, those who criticize in this case, project aspects of their personality or behavior that they do not accept and do not see in themselves, but in whoever they see in front of them.

For this reason, healthy people with good self-esteem do not continually criticize since they are calm internally. They know each other and they know what it is about them that they don’t like and that’s why they work on it with themselves and not just with outsiders. Good self-esteem and a healthy relationship with oneself determines how we relate to others.

What can we do then? Every time we see something in others that irritates us, that upsets us, that annoys us, we should see what part of it there is in us.why does it affect me?, why can’t I stand it?, why don’t I like being around it?, perhaps this will bring us closer to knowing a new part of ourselves that we thought was unknown.

How can we make criticism positive?

Before criticizing we should ask ourselves, is my comment going to help anything? That is, I provide information, advice or something valid for the other person, is it constructive or destructive? If I’m not going to add, why do I want to subtract? Another good question before any criticism should be, am I criticizing something about the other person or is it really something I don’t like about myself? What part of that behavior do I not tolerate in my behavior? What is there in that review that actually belongs to me?

And finally, Before criticizing it would be perfect to use empathy, Before giving a subjective comment, the ideal would be to think first like the other, since they are two different points and two versions of the story that may change completely. What reason could have led you to act like this? What can I contribute to make this improve? To what extent does or can my comment affect me?

Criticism, when it comes from an internally healthy person, is criticism that contributes and improves. On the contrary, when they are done out of anger, resentment, envy or unhappiness, they become something negative, and in turn, destructive.

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